I’ve made it my habit to date accountants for a reason … I just checked my bank statement online and was once again confounded by my lack of addition-and-subtraction skills. I was hoping to have a bit of a cushion to at least afford to send my mother a birthday cake, since I’ll be missing her b-day next week. Hell, I even contemplated buying a cake and driving up to Pgh tomorrow, just for kicks. I guess that’s out of the question. And it’s not like I spend money like I used to … but I forgot I took out a couple of bucks a few weeks ago (“survival” money) and I forgot a purchase of catty litter and three Hallmark cards and a very small b-day trinket for Mom … nothing like the usual gifts I like to lavish upon her. It’s just so fucking sad that such tiny transactions literally screwed up my entire account. I hate living like this. This isn’t living, although at this point, I don’t know what “living” is. 🙁 I want my mommy, and I am too afraid to drive this weekend without a buck in my pocket. Gawd, I’m pathetic.

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