Two minutes on Lake Avenue

So, I stopped at Rita’s in Lake Worth because they are making coffee ice cream this week (NOM to the third power, yo).

I was sitting on the Avenue, snarfing in my coffee ice cream like it was my last meal on earth. (Although I’m sure normal prisoners take hours to eat their last meal — I wouldn’t. Get me on my way!) And I saw a very normal sight.

I saw two women, walking and holding hands.

Maybe I live in a world (in my head) where that’s the norm. Maybe I’m a little bit jealous, truth be told, that people find their soulmate — or, at least, someone who really stirs their loins 😉 — and they want the world to know.

It’s very rare that I find myself in the position of BEING the one having the time of my life whom everyone is watching. So, while I was a little bit envious, I was also more than a lot proud that two women can walk down the street in Lake Worth, absolutely unafraid to be in love with each other.

I guess I was staring at them, wistfully of course. And I saw this older guy behind them, trying to catch my eye.

I looked over at him and he was grinning from ear to ear, obviously at the two girls. I had to laugh — while I was celebrating love in my head, he was obviously trying not to sprout a hard-on.

Hey, whatever — at least it’s acceptance, yes? 🙂

Then of course a truck full of idiots yammering in Spanish had to roll by. They started yelling really loud. Since I couldn’t understand what the fuck they were saying, I couldn’t tell you if they were offering a social commentary on the couple who had captured my attention.

But I watched the girls stop in their tracks, for just a moment, before walking on.

And I knew exactly how they felt. Any kid who has ever been teased in school knows what it’s like to have people yelling nasty shit at you — anything to make you turn around. And most of us became exceptionally good at ignoring the rest of the world … just in case that comment they were making was about you.

In any case, my moment of pride became one of sadness — that I live in a world where people just try to be happy … try to stay out of everyone else’s way … just want a little bit of peace and maybe even respect. That’s all. And even though it doesn’t cost us a dime or inconvenience us in any way, we simply can’t give people that.

I had a dream last night that a friend I saw recently had come to town to visit me. And we were at my boss’ house for a party. And he had his arms around me, and nobody said anything other than, “Yay, Goddess,” pretty much. Nobody looked twice.

And while I was happy in my dream, I awaken to a world where as long as you fit the “norm,” whatever that may be, that you’re fine. That you don’t have to worry that some dipshit yelling out of a car is aiming their comments at you.

It’s so hard to find happiness. I’m 36 and still searching. And I can’t guarantee that what ends up being my family will be anything resembling traditional.

But I will tell you this — I’ve had it with everyone else (people who aren’t all that happy themselves) trying to define it for the rest of us.

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