Thank you, Astrocenter

Y’know, after I read my horoscope, I decided to make it come true by watching an endless, mindless series of shows on Fox. Called my mom and everything. I feel much better.

Thanks to the psychotrophic hayride that my den of employment has taken me on, I fried myself. And while I planned to catch up this weekend — and did, in fact, make a great dent in my work — it still wasn’t enough to catch me up. And while of course I will have hell to pay tomorrow, I am fine with this. I got behind, I couldn’t keep up, and I accept the consequences. It’s OK — I know my actions will hold a lot of people up, but the beauty of the publications process is that well, shit happens. Lateness was unforgivable at the previous job (god forbid you don’t obey the wishes and accommodate the mighty whims of HRP), but in the writing/publishing field, last-minute crises are expected. I know, I know — any missteps on my part now would theoretically damage any shot I have at promotion, but per Demure, I’ll essentially never ascend anyway, so what the hell? 🙂 I’ll live. I always do. I’ve been written up before — no novelties there.

I’ve been thinking about getting back out in the job market again. Granted, Shan is almost ready to go full-steam ahead with her business, which will be the catalyst for me launching my own firm, but in the meantime, I have no financial or emotional capital to invest into any side projects — given how poorly I’m paid, which drains me equally in both of those ways — and well, I need a lucrative, stimulating job to sustain me while we undergo the growing pains of launching a new company. Next weekend, I’m going to dust off the resume (I’ve kept it pretty up-to-date, though), get my writing samples together and get to work … on me, for a change.

The question is, though, ARE there any fulfilling jobs and employers out there? I’ve always been terminally miserable, being someone’s marionette. I promised myself that I would never work for anyone but myself ever again, and I am in love with that idea. Could I really go through the ridiculous, “I am detail-oriented and organized and looking to spend my whole career with you!” bullshit that would-be employers demand for you to say as perkily as you can say it? Can I learn to deal with another set of personalities and politics and — even worse — potlucks? Can I take one more fucking incompetent set of managers when I could out-manage the whole fractured team? Worse, could I take supervising another dumbass like Incoherent Twit from the old job? I don’t know. But just the thought has sent my blood pressure through the roof.

Did I mention that I have not had one cigarette today? Argh!!!

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