‘So leave yourself intact, ’cause I will be coming back’

I actually had the title of this post ready before I even opened up my horoscope.

Gemini overview for today:

Everyone thinks it takes great willpower not to yield to temptation — and sometimes that’s true. Other times, however, that temptation is there precisely because it should be yielded to. So which is it in this case?

The word “absurd” keeps coming to mind, if I had to describe my life in nutshell right now. Well, not so much my life inasmuch as the situations that keep cropping up.

I’ve been holding in a lot for the past week or so. I mean, a lot. To the point where I called a friend who didn’t have time to talk when I rang and when they asked whether I were OK, I decided to say yes because, really, who could sum up this insanity in two sentences?

So I talked to no one. Because I couldn’t identify one person who didn’t know at least one of the characters. I have found myself in this bizarre Kevin Bacon six-degrees game to the point where three worlds intersected to form a veritable Bermuda Triangle, and my happy ass was caught in dead-center without so much as an inner tube.

The other day, I did have a very surface-level chat with someone I adore. Who promptly noted that choosing to stay inert is still a choice. Maybe not the best one, but free will makes us stay put sometimes, too, when maybe we shouldn’t. But the horoscope (yes, I know, it’s some hack who gets paid five cents a word to craft it — I applied for the job when it was open and believe me, psychic ability wasn’t the main requirement for it) hits the nail on the head for me, because I ask myself that very question about temptation all the freaking time.

To wit, why is the temptation there? Why were the thoughts put into your head? Why do you not function properly because this course is off-kilter? Why do you run, not walk, away and feel like the universe has this magnet stuck to your butt because you simply can’t deny the gravitational pull right back to where you keep telling yourself you should no longer be?

And don’t even get me started on so-called amnesia. I am starting to feel like I hallucinated all of this because I seem to be the only one without a spotless mind around these parts.

Maybe I did dream it all up. Every last second of it. But while it’s easy to forget the things that happened, it’s a bitch to let go of the way you thought they’d unfold.

It’s even harder when you still cannot come up with one reasonable answer as to why they still couldn’t.

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