Pssst, I’ve got a secret

And no, it’s not that I’m wearing scandalous underwear. I always wear those. Makes ya feel all happy inside when you’ve got X-rated guchies on under your work clothes. 😉

In any event, Angie and I have been dutifully avoiding work (like the rest of our colleagues) pretty successfully today (although my revised budget is due within the hour), but I was telling her about guys I’ve dated who own dogs when it dawned on us that we could help heterosexual women everywhere with a revelation we uncovered.

Let’s face it — we like guys with dogs because it makes the guys look responsible and nurturing and perfectly able to provide care to another creature. Plus, they look so damn cute at the dog park (the men, not always the dogs!) playing with Scruffy or Hunter or whatever they’ve named the lil darling. We think we’ve died and gone to heaven to see them playing together. We think they’ll play cute with our kids when we have them — that they’re already doting dads who will provide us with lots of affection and loyalty.

But rewind a minute — I dated a guy (very briefly) who had a dog. As in, “I’d stay the night but I’ve got to go let the four-pawed wonder out to pee. So let’s just fuck and I can leave afterward.” Now, for those of you who know me, you know it doesn’t break my heart in the least to have the bed to myself. But Angie declared how ingenious it is to own a dog — you always have a reason to leave. And not to limit it to men, ’cause girls do this shady shit too, but it’s so convenient to not have to make up excuses when you want to head for the hills — what girl WOULDN’T understand that the pet needs its owner more than you need said owner?

Now, I don’t mean to dog men in general. In fact, there are some chivalrous types who know how to treat a lady right (to the point of astounding us that people still do that sweet stuff like getting your coat and helping you out of a car and all those other wonderful things that the sexual revolution massacred). Sad to say that I’ve been with women who are oftentime more kind and considerate in these respects than their male counterparts. In any event, it was refreshing to, for once, not be the one wearin’ the pants during the outing. 🙂

Anyway, Angie asked that we make the “beware of men who own dogs” mantra available to anyone who’s interested. Sure, they may love and adore the lil mutts, but that doesn’t mean they are going to buy you pretty collars and feed you gourmet food. Nor does it mean you have to sniff their butts and lick their balls and admire their bones. 😉

Go for men with cats. If they love pussy, there’s no reason not to love THEM!

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