‘Mama, I’m Strange’

Inspired by the impromptu love-fest in Tepper’s comment box for Melissa Etheridge love songs, I have to post how I wasted part of my workday (which only ended an hour ago!).

Melissa is playing a four-show stretch at the 9:30 Club. I was listening to 104.1-FM all day, calling in and trying to win tickets. When that effort failed miserably, I decided fuck it, I’m buying a ticket. Even if I had to attend this wondrous event alone.

How much do you think a standing-room-only ticket in a teeny-tiny bar would cost for one lousy two-hour show? $75. With, of course, a $6.50 surcharge, and another $7 for a parking pass.

W. T. F. ?!?!

I debated long and hard about it and decided to forego it. Melissa was the one concert I wanted to see this year (although Shawn keeps trying to persuade me to see Madonna when she comes to town!). My money is scarce and I’m trying to be really careful about not blowing my funds unnecessarily (read: Rent=$900, Car=$400-plus, Student Loans=$400, etc.), but Melissa is worth skipping the $135 Nazi fucks from hell Comcast bill. But NOT for a performance at the friggin’ 9:30 Club!

Sheesh — I went to Lillith Fair — and I figure the performance room probably wouldn’t smell real good after a few hours of body-to-body-packed-ass-room sweating was goin’ on! Holy granola, Batman!

Although, I’d have a far better chance of getting laid after the Melissa concert than Madonna! 😉

So, I decided to go to Melissa Etheridge’s fan site to see about getting tickets, only that was a worse idea. For a mere $240 (!), you get a show admission and a chance to party with the lady herself. For a mere $1,200, you get to see her for four nights, party with her, get a souvenir poster and hotel accommodations for the week you’re in town to see her. For fuck’s sake! Like Shan said, for $1,200, I should get to sleep with her too!!!


I have a confession. Before I left Pittsburgh, I had “met” someone online who was as huge a Melissa fan as I, although maybe more so, because he followed her around the tri-state area (not to mention, he is a university professor there — where did he find the time?). Even though we had never met (and I moved to Alexandria shortly after we started talking), he invited me to go to the concert as his guest (and he had front-fucking-row seats!). I ended up backing out at the last minute (as he never really seemed interested in meeting me for the, oh, YEAR that we were talking online!). My only regret is never seeing the damn show.

In any event, I hope Melissa plays some amphitheatre or stadium shows — that’s the only way I will pay nearly $100 for a ticket!

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