Love and hate

After four years of near-imprisonment in the state of Florida, I finally have a work trip next week.

Mom mused, “You really miss having jobs that let you travel.”


I think someone was trying to rattle my cage recently by intimating that I don’t really excel at two particular tasks. Which, I do fine for someone who doesn’t have the time or the passion to do either.

My strength was always networking and connecting the right people and making relationships work and managing those relationships over the longer term. The aching details of projects and numbers never interested me. I just happen to be good at jumping into action the moment it is needed … whatever it may be.

Unfortunately no matter how many people I hire, there is no “me.” And I have a love/hate relationship with that fact.

Because, I love being a rockstar. But I wouldn’t mind handing off the guitar if anyone were fast/adept/skilled/motivated enough to learn a couple chords, let alone how to do a screaming solo to give a girl a night off.

I am painfully aware when people aren’t great at whatever they think their calling is. I think I may be seeing a bit of that right now. (Story for another day, if that nagging feeling is true.)

And there’s a certain comfort on my part that I’m pretty good at things that I know aren’t my calling. What if I got to do what I thought I’d be great at, and it turns out “not so much”?

Whatever. I’m just thrilled to be at the big-boy table again. Making connections. With people. Now if I can just remember how to act so I can maybe get to do it again …

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