Kill. Apartment. Dwellers. Now.

Some moron has been setting off his car alarm (purposely!) for 45 minutes. Add that to the throng of brats who convene beneath my balcony (oh, god, I pity the guy who lives below me) and then the brat in the next building who has been blowing a party horn nonstop for two hours, I am ready to fucking MURDER someone!

Oh, and I’m out of cigarettes. Joy.

One of the little monsters threw a basketball at the sign above my car. The ball bounced and rolled into my tire. I saw the whole thing and gave him the poison darts. I gave the darts to the asshole with the car alarm too — who, just my luck, is parked directly under my bedroom window.

I am giving everyone nasty looks and snarky comments, but I am not complaining to management because when I throw my housewarming party, I want my guests to make all the noise they want. If someone complains, I will kill them on sight, after what they and their kids make me put up with every fucking night of my life.

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