Here’s your budget cut

OK, I just need to squeeze another $6K outta my budget. It’s just under half a million — not bad for the little paper that could, eh?

The paper is presently the No. 1 member benefit (as well as the ONLY benefit, as perceived by most members). I’ve bartered to run 40 pages eight times a year; 64 pages four times a year. Funny, but I’ve been running the issues 52-64 pages each MONTH with moderate effort. 40 is going to be a cakewalk! Unfortunately, that means I can’t justify hiring someone full-time to help me. Dagnabbit.

After the misery and tension of fighting with my budget, I realize more than ever that I can’t stay at this job, not as long as we pay our Ad Angel 20 percent commission plus salary; not when we pay one useless consultant and her useless husband $10K/month to do next to nothing (other than antagonize in-house staff). And Demure just reminded me of our painful weekly meeting tomorrow. My lunch of tortilla soup and salad is churning in my stomach.

Speaking of cutting things out of my life …

Diet is going fine. The ground rules are simple, really:

1. Avoid carbs whenever possible. But if I want something with carbs (i.e., waffles), I can have it in moderation.

2. Avoid sweets as much as possible. But if I must have said waffles (see No. 1), I have to use light syrup.

3. Drink H2O or diet pop. Note to self: Find Diet Cherry Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper.

4. Continue parking far away from entrances and running steps in favor of elevators/escalators.

5. Don’t kill anyone. If I must have ice cream or throttle someone who deserves it, fantasize about the throttling and then go buy a pint of B&J’s.

Must go finish budget. Damn it all to hell. My goal is $468K — although it will probably be MUCH easier (and quicker!) to lose than the #&%$ amount I have to lose on this friggin’ diet!

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