Cruel summer
I have a bed in my guest room now, and I have guests staying overnight for the first time.
I was thinking today, how different my summer is turning out from what I had planned. Judging from the spring, I really thought this would be the year that I would want for nothing. That … I don’t know, something … was starting.
I don’t know what else to say. I mean, life’s been good and full of intrigue and certainly carries its share of situations that make for good storytelling. But I guess I thought I’d have a very different set of stories to tell.
And there’s a part of me that will always want to know what happened, yet another part of me really doesn’t want to know just in case it’s something that could have been caught/corrected/forgiven. If there’s even something, or a pile of somethings, that can even be identified and not just an intangible evolution, which I keep telling myself is all that it was.
My audiobook tells me to stop focusing on the lack of something because all it does is attract a continuing paucity. Instead, I need to focus on what I want and then getting it. And, apparently, keeping it. But I suppose that’s a whole ‘nother set of self-help books I haven’t discovered yet! 😉