Thirteen inches of snow and counting, as it’s being topped off by sleet. Luckily, I brought some work home with me, as I am not taking poor little Samantha on the road today. A good stiff breeze sends her sailing anyway, so I’m not taking any chances.

Maddie and I have had a great weekend, oftentimes curling up together and watching the snow fall. We watched people trying to walk their dogs, and the dogs were thrilled to play in the snow and the humans were falling on their asses. LOL. I will never, ever have a dog, and if I do, it will be when I have a backyard, unless someone invents a canine commode in the meantime.

I awoke today to wonder whether I should try to go into work today, as I’m a wee bit behind, but at least I have a lot of stuff here to do before I attempt to go in tomorrow. I also wondered whether Mac Guy will be able to make it in to the Veggie Patch tomorrow, as scheduled.

I find myself disappointed in him, because I gave him a copy of the February issue of the Veggie Patch Gazette on CD more than three weeks ago, along with accompanying fonts/artwork/etc., so that he could get started on the March issue at home (updating the folios, clearing out the old shit, etc. — pain-in-the-ass stuff that should be done in advance). We pay him a lump sum, not by the hour, so this was done for his convenience as well as mine. He bitched about how the stylesheets were set up, so I told him to go nuts and set them to his own preferences when he gets a chance.

So I talked to him on Thursday and asked about his progress. He said he was just going to wait and come into the office this Tuesday and start doing the full layout (i.e., he’s done NOTHING). Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ. If he thinks he can do the layout in one day, well, be my guest, but he’s going to be working a long-ass day, and as I have to probably drive him home, I am not pleased with this, especially with this weather. He had asked me last week if we could submit the paper late to the publishing house. I’d said absolutely not, and he’d said, “Oh.” ?!?!?!?! WTF?

This leads me to wonder whether he’ll even be able to make it into the office tomorrow. The world won’t stop turning if the Veggie Gazette is late, but we’ve already tested the patience of our publishing house before, and I will never hear the end of it from Demure and Kumquat, and I am not doing the layout myself. I refuse. Not to mention, but if the roads aren’t safe, I do not feel the need to drag my car out of her snowdrift for my paltry salary. Not to mention, Club Medicated sure as hell isn’t going to pay for it if I wreck the car.

When I was an hourly worker, years ago, I braved my way through slush, sleet and snow to make it into work. And I didn’t have a car, so I waited for buses that never came — or came an hour late — but I did it, just so I could earn money to survive. It’s amazing, what I did for $4/hour, back then. I had such an amazing work ethic — I knew that many others would be calling off, so the workplaces would be shortstaffed, so I wanted to be there to help our customers. I don’t know of many 20-year-olds with that same kind of determination.

Yet here I find myself at 28, wondering where my work ethic went. Well, I think it’s still there, but I saw after the last issue how Kumquat shredded me over the smallest details, not taking into account the number of hours I worked and the disintegration of my physical health during the whole process. So now that it’s time again to scrape and struggle and rush to put out the product, well, I’m tired and reluctant to bust my ass the same way. I already can hear the criticism coming up for next issue, so I might as well put forth a half-assed effort. It all pays the same.

My interview is Wednesday for the job in Veggie Land. I started doing some preliminary job hunting yesterday (just in case), and it just made me sick, the thought of jumping through hoops to try to impress other companies. Just because they advertise on Washington Jobs dot com doesn’t mean that you can submit your resume through that site, thus adding another step to the process. Add to that the researching of those companies so I can write a spectacular cover letter about how good of a fit I can supposedly be with their organizations, and I am ready to give up right there. And then, supposing I get an interview, I have to lie and tell them I am perky and organized and a team player and all of those other ridiculous catchphrases they expect to hear. Companies don’t hire you as a person who will enrich their teams with your unique set of experiences and insight — they hire your resume and they hire the robot who told them what they wanted to hear. And then they can’t figure out, months down the road, why you’re not what you conveyed you were.

Just once, I’d love to go into an interview and say, “I want to work 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., and I want the freedom to work from home. I’m not the least bit organized or perky, but damn it, if I believe in you and you believe in me, I will give you 100 percent and I will revolutionize your company. I require little supervision and I only respond to constructive criticism. Don’t lie to me, don’t patronize me and don’t stifle my creativity, and you’ve got yourself a deal!”

I should say that to Demure. Heh. I’d be fired on the spot. At any rate, I think it’s time for me to fly from there — this month-to-month stuff is annoying. Same shit, different month makes Dawn a dull girl. I do poorly with routine, and it would be nice to know that, for instance, I could stay home and not drive on this icy shit this week. But no, it’s production week, so I have to drag my frostbitten ass into the hellhole, because that’s the nature of the beast. For a poverty-level salary.

The real kicker, as I’m looking for jobs, is that I learned that I could be making a six-figure salary, with my experience. Six figures! The only way I have six figures on my W-2 right now is if you count the decimal places!

And the other kicker is that I can’t find any full-time job where I can use all of my hard-earned skills. I can apply for jobs compartmentalized by development, editorial, events or communications — rarely with a combination of any two or more. Not to mention, but I do have pretty good managerial skills — I can delegate work to qualified employees (although I haven’t been blessed with many of those over the years! Although Charlotte told me that Incoherent Twit’s job is on the line. Woo hoo!!! Talk about an oxygen thief!).

My hero wrote to tell me that the annual report at the old job is coming out (it was my project the year before — I suggested and produced their very first one). He said it looks great but the writing would have been so much better, had I done it. 🙂 That warmed my heart on a winter day. I almost wanted to give him Demure’s number so he can tell her how damn lucky she is to have me.

Well, off to get some more coffee. Here’s to hoping that the federal government shuts down for tomorrow, so the Veggie Patch will follow suit!

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