Another one drinks the Kool-Aid

100 things about your Caterwauling hostess

1. Gemini (and appropriately as bipolar as they come!)

2. Irish (yes, red hair, green eyes, freckles, pale … the works!)

3. Reared by my darling single mom and my grandparents

4. Currently trying to do the Atkins diet (meat and cheese lovers unite!)

5. Love to talk about sex

6. Love to have sex

7. Need to have more sex

8. Own a Pandora’s box of toys and porn

9. Use items in No. 8 regularly.

10. Purchase batteries by the case when in a dry spell

11. Am experiencing a dry spell right now

12. The carpet doesn’t match the drapes

13. I prefer to pull up the carpet and maintain hardwood floors during the summer months

14. The color of the drapes changes often, whether with a bottle or with the sun

15. I think Clay Aiken should’ve won the second season of “American Idol”

16. I can’t sing worth a shit

17. I hate to cook, but I can make yummy gourmet treats on a moment’s notice

18. I’m a writer and editor by profession

19. I wrote my first book at age 14, called “Ace of Hearts”

20. I started planning a six-book fictional series when I finished the book in No. 19.

21. I started writing the books in No. 20 to be geared toward teen-agers, but my word processor jammed and I could never get the disks to boot — I lost about 25 chapters of stories.

22. I have kept a box, marked “Bondage Materials,” with almost everything I have written since I was in the eighth grade.

23. My diaries from my early years are too painful to read

24. I stopped keeping a diary when I started my blog (Sept. 2001)

25. I started writing poetry in the fifth grade

26. I have written more than 100 poems since then

27. I stopped writing poetry in 2001

28. My poetry is always inspired by heartbreak

29. I would rather hate someone than feel indifferent toward him or her

30. I’ve felt love for many people, but I’ve never been in love

31. If you mess with any of my friends, you had better be ready for me to beat your ass

32. I have verbal diarrhea

33. I make lots of crass jokes

34. I am an equal opportunity offender

35. I type 100-130 wpm. And it’s accurate except for when I’m drinking

36. I lose my train of thought easily

37. But once I start a project, I go full-speed ahead until it’s satisfactory to meet my high standards

38. I can multi-task with the best of them

39. I hate when people refer to themselves in the third person

40. My favorite shows are “Sex and the City,” “Six Feet Under” and “Out of Order”

41. I own 360 CDs

42. I have 8 gigabytes worth of songs on my iTunes at work

43. I call my employer Club Medicated, the Veggie Patch and Club Dead

44. I want to start my own party-planning business, called Paint the Town

45. I own the domains, (I’d like to make it into a site where people can complain about their jobs, and I’d also like to make a greeting card line for disgruntled employees available on that site) and

46. I am an active volunteer

47. I am an expert fund-raising/public relations professional

48. And I can throw a mean gala event and get even the most mundane corporate occurrences in the news

49. I have a phenomenal Calico cat who’s been with me since 1996. She was born April 2

50. But she was an inadvertent gift from my friend Shawn, who asked me to keep her temporarily. I didn’t want to give her back. So I didn’t. Even though I am allergic to pet hair.

51. I have a black kitten named Kadi who also answers to the name “Short Bus” — her birthday is June 6, 2003 (and I figure she was born at 6 p.m. — note all the sixes in that number!)

52. I lived in Pittsburgh for the first 28 years of my life

53. I moved to Alexandria, Va., on a whim after my 28th birthday

54. I’m still in Alexandria and have no plans to leave the area anytime soon

55. I’ve never seen the ocean

56. I don’t know how to swim

57. I call my family “The Mansons”

58. Mom taught me all I know about sex

59. Now I teach her stuff

60. Mom and I purchase vibrators for each other

61. Hers is nicknamed “Tiger Lily” because it’s a tiger theme. I do not name my toys

62. I once used a vibrator so much that it broke while it was in use

63. I love fireworks

64. I once designed a holiday ornament that sold in department stores — it had a fireworks theme

65. 16,000 of those ornaments sold within a three-week period

66. I am a Mac user

67. I’m farsighted but hate to wear my glasses

68. I am agnostic

69. I used to be able to put my ankles behind my ears

70. Jon Bon Jovi is my hero

71. Melissa Etheridge is my idol

72. I never tell people when I have a crush on them

73. Online dating has produced dismal results for me

74. Other forms of dating have been equally dismal thus far, as well

75. I’m terrible at keeping up with my friends

76. But I’d do absolutely anything for my friends

77. I get my nails done every two weeks

78. I’m a moaner

79. I love to kiss

80. I am an experienced stalker

81. Yes, I do sometimes use my powers for good

82. I hate discussing politics, but I do have my passionate issues

83. I’ve been a Democrat and an Independent, but now I have no party affiliation but I am registered to vote

84. I don’t participate in male-bashing; I just trash individual assholes (of any gender) one by one

85. “If you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit next to me.” (line stolen from “Steel Magnolias”)

86. I think women can be even bigger assholes than men

87. I am angered by animal abuse

88. And I get pissed off when human rights and freedoms are in jeopardy

89. I’m in favor of reproductive freedoms and gay marriage

90. I think owning your own business is the only way to be happy in your vocation, but I applaud people who can actually tolerate their employer’s semantics and do a good job despite that

91. Lazy people annoy the shit out of me. Pull your fucking load because I am not paid to do your work, too

92. I’m a raving insomniac

93. My favorite scents are eucalyptus-spearmint, sandalwood and patchouli

94. My favorite perfumes are Ralph Lauren Romance, Estee Lauder Intuition, Chopard Casmir, Calvin Klein Obsession and anything else with a vanilla base. Bath & Body Works’ warm vanilla sugar line is a regular staple in my powder room.

95. I prefer men’s colognes to women’s perfumes — Drakkar, Polo, etc. The blue Softsoap for Men is my favorite and the cobalt blue liquid matches my bathroom

96. Birthday: May 25. The year varies depending which birthday is approaching!

97. I don’t drink alcohol much anymore, but I can hold my own with the best of ’em

98. If someone treats me really well, I wonder what they’re up to and what they want from me

99. I long for love and passion and can’t say I’ve ever experienced either

100. Love and sex have always been separate in my life, but I hope that changes sometime soon!

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