I’m tired … and so OVER this post-adoption respite proposal! I am going to skip Leadership tomorrow … Puppeteer should have a hissy, because I didn’t get permission. I’m going to Lori’s to finish this atrocity. Ugh. Lori did a phenomenal job with her structure, and I think I did an okay job with my writing. I don’t feel like mine will get funded (only four in the country will, in my subcategory, so why bother?). Even our evaluator recommended that we pick one (preferably Lori’s) and combine our efforts. But the Puppeteer was insistent that we do both. Wonderful. Like I don’t have enough to do, although I’ve been on the Slacker Express lately.

No thoughts about the Bermuda Love Triangle. Chris L. emailed me with her assessment (I always respect her opinion). She is of the hope that YKW realizes that I’m on my way out and it will make him understand that I am about to leave his life completely, and he’d better act now to prevent that from happening. But she also reasoned that he might also be of the mindset, that even if he doesn’t want to lose me, it’s futile to even try to keep me in his life at all. Sad, but probably true. At any rate, I miss the friendship, and I can’t see how he can’t miss it, too.

No contact with SE. Found myself thinking about him a lot today. Oh, why can’t this be easy? I want him in my life. I really do. And I am glad that I haven’t screwed it up completely … yet. But I probably will. I always do. And that would be a shame.

And wouldn’t you know that straight, single and sane (I think!) men are CRAWLING out of the woodwork? It would figure, now that I am headed South. But that’s not to say that I can’t have some fun while I’m here. I know me … I need to meet people and hang out with them and learn all kinds of points of view and hear their hopes and dreams … I need those experiences because they are vital to my very being. I’m not out for an easy lay or for a distraction … I truly enjoy dating and all the crazy shit that accompanies it. Of course, I want an LTR … who doesn’t? But what I need in an LTR partner is someone who can give me loads of time and space … because that is what makes me wonder what they are doing when I am not nearby. That’s the attraction to me … their ability to live without me. In that case, no wonder I am so attracted to YKW, because he has more than proven that his world keeps on turning when I am not in it!

Comments closed.