Damn it. I wrote Jeff’s name, and he surfaced last night, for the second time since I dumped his sorry ass.

He first contacted me after another girl dumped him. Now he’s lost his job and asked me to call him. Fuck that. It was always all about him. He never even knew that I wrote poetry, never knew a damn thing about me other than what I tasted like. (although that wasn’t a bad thing!) Much as I could use a hot, sweaty lay right now, I just don’t want to deal with him anymore. It’s not like we were ever friends … why does he seem to think I want to hear from him?

SB is the same way. Dumped his messed-up ass in ’97, yet lately, I’ve been treated to a barrage of emails from him, under the guise of asking career advice. He’s a big baby with depression problems, and from what I remember, the woes of the world were everyone’s fault but his. Further, I can’t help him in his career, because he doesn’t want help. He wants to see me, to make it work this time, to not feel so alone in this world. I can’t blame him there … it’s easy to think that you can fall back into a relationship with someone, and I should be honored that someone thinks of me in that way. It shows that once people step out of my circle for a little while, they realize how incredible a person I am!!!

But will that happen with you-know-who? The clock is ticking … and once I get into the car to drive to DC to unpack my boxes, I don’t plan to turn into a pillar of salt (or, for that matter, have whiplash as I’m craning my head to look back).

Leslie says that for you-know-who, I am his lesson to learn. As I have been with Jeff and SB. I don’t need to take a lesson out of this situation … I know who I am and where I stand. CR and CH were my lessons (I’m still nursing the psychological concussion from the latter).

At any rate, I am late for work (haven’t even showered yet, and still have to sit through all the Fort Pitt traffic mess), so I’d better run!

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