Poop-pourri

I love being a cat. Today I was sleeping on Mommy's pillow (a no-no but who cares?), and at least an hour and a half before her alarm went off, I sneezed straight into her face. Boy was she pissed off! She already works 10- to 12-hour days at her job, and here I deprived her of some well-needed sleep. Ha! It got her to roll her fat as out of bed and give us breakfast, so I'd say that was a victory. Not to mention, but since I sneezed on her, she's been sneezing all morning. My cuteness is contagious!

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It's air-conditioning season! Which means that the windows are closed, and the stank of cat poop is now contained within the walls forever. Muahahaaaa. Mommy doesn't call me Poo-Pooh Kitty (remember Boo-Boo Kitty from "Laverne & Shirley"?) for nothin'!

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Last weekend, Mommy brought her mom and grandfather down to D.C. from Pittsburgh. I haven't seen them since Mommy used to drag us up there for visits, and they haven't come to see me since we last lived in Pittsburgh, circa 2002. I was horrified when I saw Grandma come into the bedroom to pet me. The hell?!?! We've lived in three apartments since we left town four years ago. How did they FIND us?!? Damn it, Mommy. They did not bring turkey from Honeybaked Ham; they are no longer welcome in my domain!

Kadi was thrilled, though. She loves visitors. She guided them to Pooh Corner and to all her favorite spots in the house. She also led them to the balcony, but as we all know Kadi jumped off said balcony a few weeks ago, Mommy put her in a cage outside so that everyone could stand on the porch. Boy was Kadi pissed! But she wouldn't whine while Mommy was out there -- oh, no, she waited till Mommy was out of earshot to bitch about her captivity. If her dumb ass hadn't have decided to freefall a few stories, then maybe Mommy would trust her enough to go out without being restrained again.

I, however, am allowed to go on the porch unsupervised, although after Kadi's great escape, nobody's allowed out, period. But like she says, it's not like there's a foot-and-a-half clearing between the guardrails that my pudgy pork roast ass can fit through. Asshole!