Short Bus: all aboard!

Holy shit, did Kadi scare the living shit outta me and Mommy the other night!

I was enjoying a long evening's nap when we heard a big ole CRASH at 4 a.m. on the fucking nose. What happened, you ask? Well, Mommy jolted awake, and she was convinced someone had broken into our humble apartment. But she waited for a moment and yelled, "Kadi!" and then we heard her yelp and go zooming out of the bedroom. Yep, it was Kadi. Like there could ever be any doubt.

Mommy has this shelf that she put up in our bedroom, and it is loaded with glass candleholders, photo frames and potpourri and shit like that. This shelf has been up for more than a year, and Kadi never once bothered it. Till now. I guess she wanted to see what was up there, and the crack of dawn must have seemed like as good a time as any. Well, the shelf could not sustain her, so it collapsed and the hardware came outta the wall. Every single piece of glass hit the floor.

But the funny thing is, nothing got broken except a lamp that got hit by flying potpourri vases. Mommy is a lazy fat ass and never does laundry (she buys clothes all the time instead of washing the dirty ones). Anyway, every single knickknack landed on her massive (and growing) pile of clothes to be washed. And yes, that means she got potpourri in lots of pairs of her sleazy underpants. And I was happy because I just love to munch on those dried flower chips -- my shit has been especially colorful and fragrant as a result of the unexpected snacks!

Oh, and the bitch never did put the shelf back up. Does she think it looks good lying in the middle of the floor? And in perfect irony, Kadi has absolutely no interest in being on the shelf now that it's on the floor and she can't get hurt if she would jump on it!