I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Thursday, June 24, 2004

Explosive diarrhea

I had the best shit this morning. Truly, never was a wetter, more plentiful shit ever had by any feline or human. And boy did I stink up the house. Aaah, what a relief!

The problem? It wasn't in the litterbox.

Kadi was being her usual loud and obnoxious self all through the night. Mommy has had insomnia for four days, and she'd had it and chased Kadi out of the bedroom. I was of course curled up next to her on the bed, where you can always find me. She did get to sleep around 4 a.m., and a while later, I felt the urge. But I was afraid to wake her up (she is not very nice when she's first awakened, especially after so much sleep deprivation!), so I found a lovely place to void my little bowels. She's the editor-in-chief of some national magazine, and she happened to have a copy on the floor by the window. So I crapped all over it. Heh. Seemed perfect.

She woke up around 7 and said she smelled poop. I was sleeping on one of her pillows, so she assumed I had shit particles clinging to my anal fur, so she tossed me off of it. She fell asleep for a coupla minutes again, but she got up and said she really couldn't take the shit aroma. She figured it was Pooh Corner, which, admittedly, has been pretty rank of late. But then she saw my mountain-o-shit on her magazine, and she couldn't help but laugh between coughing at the stench. She told her boss and her staff about it today and said it was just a sign that she would get crapped on all day long. And from the attitude she has tonight, apparently she was right!

But hey, it made for easy cleanup, although the scent of ass definitely hung around in the air for longer than I care to remember. And she couldn't get the bedroom window open, to air out the place, so I assume the scent of her favorite daughter prolly clung to her clothes all day long!

1 Comments:

At 10:41 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

lmao so funny!! keep em comin! :p

 

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