Bursting bowels

I take it back when I said I never had a more wet, plentiful shit last week. I had an even better one last night.

Mommy fed us fresh new food. And I overindulged a bit. She has taken to giving me more food because Kadi refuses to eat from her own dish, so she fills mine to the brim with Cat Chow goodness. So I gobbled up all the earthly delights of my bowl, only to find that my stomach simply isn't accustomed to being so full. So not only did I vomit up a hefty amount of kibble, but I also wanted to take a big steaming dump to ensure that my stomach felt better. The problem? Kadi was in the box at the time, and there is simply not room for two cats in Pooh Corner at the same time.

So I did what any self-respecting puss with bursting bowels should do -- I pooped in my sister's black velvety bed in the living room.

Mommy got up and wordlessly cleaned up the vomit, but alas, the air-conditioned apartment still bore a stench she couldn't quite identify. So as she started to walk out the door with the bag of kitty vomit, she saw my sister's bed -- much like my sister -- was full of shit.

All the vomit and shit has been dragged out to the curb, and now there is yummy orange-smelling carpet treatment soaking into the bed and rugs right now.

When is she gonna realize that, if she would just open the door and let Kadi go find a new home, then I will quit shitting everywhere?