Asswipe

Mommy has this great article Aunt Shan gave her, "The ABCs of a good work ethic." At their workplace, having a good work ethic means you only take a five-hour nap, work one hour and socialize for two hours. So I took a big, steamy, smelly poop last night, and I trotted over to the living room and dragged my ass across the printed-out article lying on the floor. Aunt Shan said that was just perfect -- other people at work excel only at wiping their asses (there are two girls who go potty more than 14 times a day there!), so my work ethic is as good as theirs!