‘Smash’ing success

The neat thing about meeting other bloggers in person is that you get to hear/tell the stories that none of us are brave enough to put online. Add alcohol and an unfortunate series of events, and you’ve got comedy gold.

Our party host, the amazing Ted, rallied the troops last night for an evening out at a baseball game (which was unfortunately rained out partway through) and for adult beverages afterward.

I wasn’t sure whether to share this story, but I’ve decided to tell it. With love, of course. 😉

After the game was rained out, Ted gave me one of his kids, asking Mookie to ride with me. And we were in a discussion about her odysseys in driving school and about her instructor, the Turtle, who used scare tactics to teach students to remember details about other vehicles on the road.

She got to apply that lesson when I was in the turning lane for the restaurant and I noticed a car merge in front of me, and its backup lights suddenly flashed (the traffic light had turned red and the car had been ready to turn). Eep! I looked in my rearview and saw another car behind me. And the funny things that run through your mind — I have TED’S KID in my car! Holy shit, I can’t go two miles without injuring one of Ted’s kids!!! Argh — I’ll never be invited to another baseball game AGAIN!


OK, Samantha is a wee little girl, and a dark one — and I know she is very hard for people in bigger cars to see. Which explains the scratches on the HOOD … my car fit UNDER the other car! (It’s not too bad — I went to the park this morning (with some scratch-out solution) in a shirt that made all the soccer dads avert their gaze away from their girls’ game, so that was worthwhile right there! LOL) I have some blue StreetWear nail polish that should take care of the rest.

Anyway, I’d looked at Mookie — she was OK and had her seatbelt on (along with her orange inmate shirt and Robyn’s FBI hat. Stop and get a visual of this. OK, carry on). Me to her: “(Expletives.) The license plate is (***) — remember that. (More expletives.)” I STOMPED up to the next car, saying creative things — Linda Blair had infiltrated my body. The same thing happened to me once before in Tyson’s Corner (another rainy night) and I almost ripped the driver out of the car with my teeth back then. I was ready to repeat the process. …

Until I saw that I KNEW the driver!

At which point, I was all smiles and concern. Linda Blair’s spirit evaporated and Donna Reed’s entered. I asked if everyone were OK. I laughed. I think I scared people with my newfound bipolar disorder. 🙂

Nic decided I need a tip jar on this site — the “Help Dawn Buy an SUV Fund.” I think that was the smartest thing I’ve ever heard (although her story about the family photos was rather priceless, too!). Can you imagine me on the highways in an assault vehicle? Woo hoo!

Ted looked at the car and thought the front wasn’t so bad in comparison to the back. Har dee har harr. 😉

In any event, everybody’s fine and we’re planning on getting together for another game soon (our tickets are still good). Although, I have a funny feeling Mookie might NEVER want to drive after this! 😉

On iTunes: Beth Orton, “Feel to Believe”

2 Responses to ‘Smash’ing success

  1. Tom Bridge :

    Tiff and I went to the game last night, they actually did play the whole game, it just didn’t start until 9:40.

  2. Anonymous :

    Buckethead said:

    I’m glad the damage was as minimal as it seemed that night. I swear to god, I looked out all three mirrors and over my shoulder and didn’t see your car. And I did need to get out of the intersection…