Offa my chest, damn it

Things I’d really, really love to say but for some reason cannot.

Idea swiped from Swirl and Lach.

  • I wish you’d Google me and write — even if just once — to let me know you’re OK.
  • I know I am a good date. You, in fact, are NOT. Quit wasting my time. And you are DELUSIONAL if you actually think I’d accept a subsequent offer to do nothing and go nowhere with your funky ass.
  • Make up your mind already.
  • No, in fact, I DON’T miss you. Really.
  • Try to call once in awhile when you DON’T need something. My stomach churns when I see your name.
  • I’m sorry — I don’t mean to neglect you; I don’t even have enough time for me.
  • Stop being so impressed with yourself. You’re the only one who is.
  • Thanks for dropping out of my life when I needed support the most. Poke your head back in the door and I will slam it in your face. I promise.
  • I’m so scared that I am going to fail you in some way.
  • I have questions that I really want to ask, and I’m terrified that the answers will be exactly what I think I am hoping to hear.
  • I meant every word I said. I am sorry that you got hurt, but I am not sorry for letting you know where I stand. Grow a set and get over it.
  • Some days, I am sick of always being the better person. I wish YOU would give it a try sometime. Karma is gonna anally rape you someday.
  • I really am happy. Honestly. But I’m overdue for a meltdown and it isn’t going to be pretty. Please forgive me and don’t let me beat myself up over it when it happens.
  • So I had this dream about you. … (update: Ted, how’d you know?)
  • When I get pee-shy, I think of your head in the toilet and suddenly, I have NO PROBLEMS letting go. Splish splash!
  • I am going to set up college funds for your babies and surprise them with it when they’re ready to go to school. It might not be much, but I want to honor the amazing friend you’ve been to me by helping them in any way I can. Anything they (or you) need, I will be there.
  • You were good to me when I probably didn’t deserve it. And I will have your back for life.
  • Thank you for giving me back my most cherished possession that I lost for a long, long while — me. You breathed life into me — into my belief in humanity and in the universe working as it should. And I’m writing again, here and there. It’s a start. You have no idea, but you saved me, and I am grateful that we were able to cross paths in this lifetime.

    On iTunes: Lori Carson, “Snow Come Down”

  • 8 Responses to Offa my chest, damn it

    1. Anonymous :

      Admit it, when you dreamed about me, I was wearing my Elvis outfit…


    2. Anonymous :

      Bravo, Dawn. Bravo.



    3. Anonymous :

      Spank you, spank you very much. 😉

    4. Dave Tepper :

      Now I’m wondering if I’m in here or not. *hugs, doll*

    5. EatShiz :

      “I meant every word I said. I am sorry that you got hurt, but I am not sorry for letting you know where I stand. Grow a set and get over it.”

      A-fucking-men! Dat one der is my fave!

    6. Erica :

      Fantastic. Don’t you feel better now?

    7. Caterwauling » Blog Archive » Imaginary conversations, redux :

      […] October 21st, 2005 at (Ponderous, Man) I felt so good after the first time I said everything that had previously been going unsaid (due to me being a downright puss else […]

    8. Caterwauling :

      […] Editor’s note: This is the third installment of an occasional series of stuff that’s clogging my mind and I don’t have the ability and/or the balls to direct it to its intended recipient. See here and here for other historical hysteria. […]