If I only had a brain heart

*updated* — It was 4 a.m. and I was drunk when I wrote this!

All right, all right — I’ll do this particular Friday Five, and not even at gunpoint. 😉

1. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?
Abso-fucking-lutely. Call me crazy (and many have), but I believe in reincarnation and traveling with the same people throughout your lives. I’m in my sixth life, and I find that so many people feel familiar before we’ve exchanged a how-do-you-do — I know I’ve “met” them before. Similarly, there are people who irritate me for no particular reason — I know I must’ve had a scrape with them somewhere throughout the centuries.

In any event, I have people who caught my eye immediately or almost immediately, and I “knew” there was something special about them. On the other hand (always the devil’s advocate, I am!), sometimes it takes bludgeoning me with a cluestick to alert me to the possible arrival of someone special, but I think that’s been more about my heart knowing it and my head not processing it — or being afraid to consider it — right away.

2. What physical feature attracts you the most (romantically) to another person?
I love eyes. I fall in love with eyes that sparkle and shine, particularly when that person is looking at me, but also overall — whether dealing with a restaurant server or a custodian or a mother or a sister. And I go nuts over hands, too — I study people’s hands when it would be creepy to try to make steady eye contact. I can’t explain the fascination with hands other than to say that I just like to see clean, well-kept nails and long, strong fingers that I can imagine encircling mine. And a having a good butt never hurt anyone. 😉

3. What do you think is the biggest benefit of being in a romantic relationship?
You’re asking someone who has been in way too many non-functional (and therefore short-lived) entanglements. I don’t know — I guess the emotional investment appeals to me. I am not a chick who wants somebody around every day and every night — I think separate lives/interests/friends are glorious — but I do love the discovery process of learning the ins and outs of someone and deciding that you indeed are in love with their quirks. I guess I like the headrush that comes with new relationships, but I also like the familiarity that comes with trust and openness — I love to dote on people and to know that they are worth every minute of it.

UPDATE: You know what I love? I love the glow I get — the sparkle, the feeling of invincibility. Seriously, when I’m in lust, great things happen — I lose weight, my skin gets this natural dewy and light appearance, I smile all the time and don’t freak out when little things go wrong in other areas of my life. Everything seems right somehow — I’d never claim to be dependent on anybody for anything, but the change in me has always been significant.

Also, for those of you who visit via newsreaders, I don’t want you to miss Ted’s comment on wanting the best for each other. If you’ve ever met him and his wife, you’d know that you should take a lesson from those two whenever possible!

4. Biggest downside?
The fact that even though you think you’re done with the games, you’re not done with the games. Not to say that the downright mindfuck of a new dating relationship lasts forever, but it’s amazing the lengths to which we go to keep the mystery alive. Of course, for me, I rarely find that a problem, as no one has managed to figure me out and I am beginning to doubt that the day will ever come. 🙂 The other downside is that, in many instances, someone always loves a little bit less than the other. I’ve been on both sides of that equation, and both roles are equally agonizing (e.g., either you weren’t lovable enough or you are guilty because you couldn’t reciprocate the love you were given — *sigh*).

5. Has your idea of love and romance changed? If so, how?
I have always been one of those girls who chirped, “I don’t need a significant other to feel complete” my whole life. This goes against my mom’s wishes that I would just “admit already” that I need someone. However, women in general have a difficult time finding the right balance in life — especially single women. I would adore having someone to aggravate confound share in this bizarre, wonderful adventure that is life as well as to give me a reason to round out my days (and, particularly, my nights). Priorities, I say! 😉

UPDATE: I guess I never believed that romance and love and all that jazz would ever be “for me.” I always wanted to be dedicated to my career (mission accomplished) and that would somehow be enough. It’s not. But I don’t necessarily know how to go about letting my guard down and letting somebody get to know me. But I’d like to learn. 🙂 I don’t think I’d ever be one of those girls who’s chasing a ring, but maybe Mom was partially right — while I may not need someone to complete me, someone who would complement (and even challenge) me would be a welcome arrival. I don’t expect a fairytale and never did, but I think I’ve used independence and loneliness interchangably for far too long. …

On iTunes: Garbage, “Special”

2 Responses to If I only had a brain heart

  1. Anonymous :

    When you love someone enough to want everything to go perfect just for them, and they want the exact same thing for you, then it’s magical. When it’s one-sided it’s a nightmare, because either you fight it out for who wins (when it should *never* be that way), or even worse the meek one stays silent and gets walked all over.

    True love is getting into an argument over which restaurant to go to, because you both insist on going “wherever *you* want”.


  2. Dawn :

    I love that. 🙂 You and Liz are the poster children for the kind of relationship I hope to find!