Epiphanies hit you when you’re crossing the street. So can cars.
Earlier today, I asked for an epiphany. And at some point, my conscious reminded me that I indeed received two epiphanies on Saturday and that I shouldn’t be too greedy. Damn it. Got me there. 🙂
I won’t reveal what they were, but I will tell you this much. I was in Bailey’s Crossroads, literally crossing a street, when I stopped in mid-stride and touched my fingers to my mouth. Apparently, I had said something out loud and it started resonating in the air, seemingly.
I kid you not, I dead-stopped in the middle of a street and looked around, wondering who had heard me. Nobody did, but the important part of this discussion is that I heard me. And it’s like I couldn’t remove my fingertips from my lips, trying to ascertain whether I’d actually just blurted out — with the most certainty I’ve ever spoken in my life — my destiny.
And let’s face it, my name is practically synonymous with under-the-breath commentary. But I truly thought I was snugly inside my head with my little thoughts. However, some random prophecy not only escaped my lips, but I enunciated. I, like, named specifics.
The thing is, when/if I do allow myself to dream, I do it in the abstract. This could explain my utter fascination with Impressionist paintings — I just always assumed that I lived one of my previous lives during the French Renaissance or something like that. But the theme has always been carried out in this blog — I give you an abstract; you interpret any way you wish (my details are insignificant to you — what you take from me is how my lessons apply to your life). That’s because that’s how my brain works — it gives me pictures; I make a slideshow (or a mess. Depending. I use low light, so we get what we get and sometimes it’s a headache!). Usually, I’ve got the slideshow on fast-forward but, like a good B-movie, I stop and rewind the “good” parts until the tape breaks and I ask for new dreams.
But this is a first — for the abstracts to take on characteristics. I’ve been especially attuned to my universe lately — it’s amazing what you perceive when your soul is wide open to all of the elements surrounding you.
So, understand, I stood there in front of Old Navy (surprise), realizing that I might have just spoken some major life events into consideration (and, possibly, reality — I always say that we should speak things into existence that we want). These weren’t things I knew I wanted — or, more accurately, that I thought I could have. And what’s not to say that my spirit guides weren’t being mischievous and trying to get me killed in the middle of a busy road. 🙂 Either the universe was dangling a carrot for shits and giggles, or I was just given the goals toward which I need to work … or that will lead me in a slightly different direction, but nonetheless a direction in which I need to move.
I’ve been a real slacker about keeping up my personal diary — I’m running low on pages in my “dream book,” and I’m afraid that when I fill the last page, then I will close the book on those dreams and not start a new one and, worse, forget about the book that’s in progress. So I’ve been choosing my words with care and rationing my space. All I wrote was “Today I had one of those moments I will either cherish for a long time to come or hope to forget as quickly as possible.”
Please know that I hope it is the former, although I’ve got to actively work toward what entered my mind — if that’s what I want. Of course, if the events in question are written in the stars, then they are going to happen anyway. Thus, I guess my role right now is to create a hospitable environment in which they can grow … which means I’ve got some renovating to do and some “welcome” signs to craft!
On iTunes: Rob Thomas, “When the Heartache Ends”