Went to a Mary Kay function this evening. Was kind of hoping to network, but the environment didn’t really provide so much for that. But I did win $5, so that was OK by me — that’s a one-way turnpike toll!

There was some heavy-duty recruiting going on, and I’m not opposed to someday becoming a Mary Kay rep, but right now, I’ve got to really put more energy into my Passion Parties endeavor first. I did love the team spirit and all the honors the MK reps got this evening, but the thing is, they’re like carpenter ants — you can’t shake a dead rat without hitting a Mary Kay rep in your area. But Passion Parties reps are so much fewer in numbers, although that number is growing exponentially. But I am one of 6,000 in my chosen sales business, where there are thousands upon thousands of makeup salespeople.

The girls at the MK party were adorable, particularly because they loved my Nine West shoes that are ironically the same pink as the corporate MK logo. I didn’t even try to match! I had just never worn the shoes and wanted to dress in expensive attire, even though I’m not exactly making any money right now. 😉

Going into this, I was kind of worried that they would be eyeballing my makeup (as I am a Cover Girl/Maybelline/L’Oreal fan — whatever’s on sale at Wal-Mart!) with distaste. But nobody seemed to take much notice. My skin was on its best behavior today (hurrah!) so I didn’t see any point in trying to hide it under gobs of cosmetics.

The thing is, these woman-friendly sales businesses (and especially these functions) are truly empowering. I mean, I expected to walk in and see a bunch of supermodel-types. And while there were some truly striking women, well, the rest looked like me — with the exception of the two ridiculously young and skinny girls in the row in front of me, nearly everyone else had curves and laugh lines and some creases in their skirts from sitting all day. And it’s the little things like that that make me feel OK about me — and maybe even better, sometimes. Not better than anyone, by any means, but I get a big reminder to quit disassembling myself feature by feature in the mirror like I did when I was a pre-teen. I remember that I am attractive enough, successful enough, innovative enough … maybe I just need to up my own motivation and confidence.

And that will come in time (although it needs to come soon!). Right now, I’m still licking some fresh wounds, and that’s OK — I’ve never really taken the time to detox from all the insanity of my first 30 years. I look forward to taking on the next 30 with a clearer mind as well as vision of where I want to be by then. And not just *where* I want to be, but also *how* I want to be. The successes I’ve achieved in my life have come at a cost, but I’m smarter and stronger for it. And I’m more prepared for whatever comes next — and it had better be good! — because I will have a greater appreciation and even readiness for it.

And if you would like to have a fun girls’ night in with samples of yummy body products and toys that go buzz in the night, please e-mail me at passion AT thisdomainDOTcom. It’s never too early to start your holiday shopping! One thing my team and I are going to do are baskets I want to call “Human Hot Fudge Sundae” — Hot Fudge flavored lube, Cherry lube, Marshmallow whipped cream and Banana lube. Who can resist THAT?!?! 😉

On iTunes: Tracy Chapman, “Baby Can I Hold You”

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