‘You’ll risk all this for just a kiss’
What a weird week. Mostly in a good way, though.
Several of my beloveds from “up north” are in town.
I spent Wednesday and Thursday with one, eating oysters and foie gras and the most-amazing peanut-butter pie over expensive red wines on Atlantic Avenue. And I spent last night with my beloved Goddess Sabre and her family, in from D.C. for her son’s graduation.
The diet? Is blown, by the way. Pudge muffin. Yaar. And I don’t suppose heading out of the country for the next seven days is going to do any favors to my waistline!
I had two major battles to resolve before Friday. (Hence, the drinking. En masse.) And despite numerous odds stacked against each deal, I prayed for miracles to prevail. I had half of Facebook praying along with me, after I did everything I could and the rest, as they say, was in God’s hands.
The result? Not so good on one account, but progress on the other.
One of my Twitterfriends posted a link to a commencement speech from 2005. And I’m bored and actually sitting upright from the three-day boozefest that just concluded. (Fat. Ass.)
I HIGHLY recommend you read that speech. It was the reality check I didn’t get until I’d been out of college for six months.
I can quote a passage from it, to give some perspective on what went down this week in Goddess’ world, mostly because I know the person who NEEDS to read it is READING THIS RIGHT NOW.
“Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful, it’s that they’re unconscious. They are default settings.”
I’m just mad because there are too many people who wear their diagnoses like a decorated soldier. Once you discover exactly how fucked up you are, you’re supposed to work on it, right? Let me clarify: You work on FIXING it, not PERFECTING the psychosis.
And from where I stand now, they just seem so small and petty and insignificant. Sound and fury, signifying nothing. The very large butt of a very big joke. The one whose epitaph will read nothing more than a name, whose final resting ground has grass that’s dry and brown and dead from everyone in THIS generation who pissed on it, the way everything in which they believed was pissed upon.
In any event, I’m just mad that Lilith Fair has a sucky lineup in West Palm (and I spent a lot of money on tickets), but it looks fabulous for Washington, D.C. I mean, throw a girl some Missy Higgins here, pretty please?
(Hello, no transition between subjects!)
I invited one of my up-north friends to come down here for the concert. I’d rather go up north and see it there instead, truth be told. (I’m happy to see Sarah McLachlan and Sia here. But Indigo Girls! Missy Higgins! Sara Bareilles! Are in my homeland but NOT HERE. GAH.)
In any case, that invitation was made in one of my liquid-courage moments.
But what’s so funny is that it’s perfectly the norm to ask someone to fly somewhere for an event. Just like I have plane tickets booked for the rest of the year for one-day meetings and weekend events. I love that this is my new normal.
This year, I’ve decided to simply hop on a plane and just DO shit, when opportunity arises. Life’s too short to sit on a pile of “somedays,” especially after too many YEARS have been robbed of me otherwise.
“I’ve been running all my life
I ran away, I ran away from good
Yeah I’ve been waiting all my life
You’re not a day, you’re not a day too soon.”— Sia, “Day Too Soon”
Even if I only get two hours of face time with a long-distance friend here and there, it’s two hours I didn’t have otherwise.
So, M, I’ll see you in Sonoma; C, I’ll see you in Philly; V, I’ll see you in West Palm; B, I’ll catch up with you in Baltimore; L — Key West, here we come; and to whomever is in my life then, we have a hot date in Mexico at the end of summer.
And all these thoughts will keep me warm when I’m freezing my Florida-girl ASS off in Canada on Monday! 😉