Whichever planet is in retrograde, please stop


Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

It’s been hell at Casa Caterwauling the past week or so. A mad flea infestation has made the cats miserable and their owner sad and exhausted.

I brought in the exterminators yesterday, which meant taking the cats for their billionth car ride this week. I was barely at work this week, which means I will be working fiendishly this weekend just to catch up. I’m behind no matter what I do and I admit the pile o’ tasks that are ahead (and the deadlines that I know I can’t meet) are daunting.

Can’t win for losing here these days.

Maddie hasn’t eaten in a week. Kadie went on a bit of a hunger strike, too, but she eats enough now to make me happy. Her appetite will return in time.

I trace it back to last Saturday when I flea-bathed them, flea-bombed the house and then took them to PetSmart for Advantage. It was once I rubbed that crap on them that their appetites disappeared.

Now that she’s been shaved and we see how tiny she is, the vet is of course looking at me like I’m a moron that I let her get so skinny and frail. Well, shit. She was always in good spirits, always had an appetite. Now she’s frail and shaky and God, she stares at herself in the bathroom mirror and your heart just breaks. And just two weeks ago, she was playful and social and hungry.

So, if you’re so inclined, say a little prayer for Maddie while we wait for her test results to come back on Monday. I just want her to eat something. Once she gets some food in her belly (other than the NutraCal and Pedialyte that I keep forcing on her), I’ll be more inclined to believe she’ll be OK.

As I’m now paying three rents, I’m wondering WTF I’m doing. I mean, really. Comma after comma after comma. My savings is shot and it’s only the first month!

I keep telling myself it’ll get better. But then that nasty little voice in the back of my head that pops up at times like these likes to inquire why I think I’m entitled to good things and a good life and makes me second-guess myself.

Of course, I tell that voice to go back to the hell from which it came.

But it does make you wonder why, just when you’ve gotten your master plan for happiness in motion, the world manages to throw every possible obstacle in your path.

I was just musing how I never wanted kids or a family or anything like that, and I’ve unwittingly found myself as the sole supporter of a family of four.

If I can just get through this hell period, I’ll be fine. I just don’t have the mental reserves to spare so I hope they regenerate soon.

I just hope that whatever is wrong with Maddie can be fixed, and hopefully inexpensively. I would never have agreed to rent-a-palooza had I known she was so sick. I can take a lot of crap in my life, and HAVE, but I love this cat more than myself and if we can’t make her better, chances are we can’t fully make ME better, either.

2 Responses to Whichever planet is in retrograde, please stop

  1. Silver Blue :

    I just read over on FB about Maddie’s passing. Even though she and I only met once (other than the cutest kitty contest she won on my old blog (beating CowCat by a ratio of nearly 2:1)), I know how much she meant to you. Words fall hallow at this time. Know that I’m thinking of you, and hope that in time your heart will mend, and remember the joy (and sometimes aggravation) she brought to your life. Hugs, Goddess.

  2. Mindy :

    Hey lady,

    I am very sorry for your loss. I have four l’il demon spawn kittehs (one a young 15 years old), and I know how much they mean to their humans. Know that she is up in kitty heaven happily making shit pile art (which my childhood dog is happily eating…). You made her a happy cat with a wonderful life. I personally wouldn’t mind coming back in a future life as your cat and I promise not to shit on your shoes as long as you are faithful to me. *big hugs* –Mindy.