When they go low, we aim lower

Andy Borowitz joked that he’s been drinking since the election. 

It occurs to me that I’ve been overeating since the election. 

And drinking, of course. My nerves are shot. 

I was trying to get motivated after killing a bottle of wine last night and again tonight … and not even getting as much as a buzz …

And I thought, fuck. If I can stay sober during Tangerine Tiny Hands’ first 100 days, it’ll be a friggin’ miracle. 

But maybe if I can just eat normal portions during those 100 days, I can have a couple cocktails a week. 

When they go low, we aim lower. 

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