‘Welcome to another hard night / You made it through another day’

“Don’t want to go home to the T.V.
Don’t want to go down to some bar
You grab a blanket,
Put the top down
And go driving in your car
Though your bed’s as warm as January
On this cold December’s night.”

— Bon Jovi, “Blind Love”

What most men fail to understand is that we want a damn gift from them.

I don’t need a yacht. Although that would be nice. But, you know. Something for Christmas and birthday and perhaps other random times through the year.

You know. To prove that they are paying attention to things we say we like. And thinking about us when we’re not around. Or pretending that they give a shit when all they want is someone to listen to them and care about them and ask about them and talk about them.

Even and especially if, all the while, they’re trying to get with someone, ANYONE else who will tolerate them for 10 minutes.

What bugs me is that if another man gives you a gift, or if you buy one your damn self, these guys feel like they are off the hook.

Let me be clear. I’ve not found much use for most of the (sadly few) gifts I’ve gotten in my life. That’s why my best boys give me wine and I cherish them so. (The boys. But also the bottles of deliciousness.)

Also let me be clear. If I gotta hear about your dick, I want restitution. The gift of silence is good too.

“Welcome to another hard night
You made it through another day
Sit at the counter counting tips
Can’t count on nothing else these days.”

I did something recently I’m proud of. I took time I’d normally spend on a “going nowhere” kind of thing, and used it to breathe some life into a couple near-dead friendships.

It’s amazing how much happier I am to have made a couple of connections to people I haven’t made time for in a very long time.

I mean, I’m not up for friend of the year or anything. Gotta keep expectations low, yo. But my theme of 2016 is “Enough.”

And that means there is enough time and money and will and willpower for everything. I just have to find it.

And that means a little less reality TV and a lot less reality in general.

So the only real gift I want or need … is me, and everything I’ve given away (i.e., time) that I would benefit from more than anyone else.

But if you want to take that time, pay up. 

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