The annual ‘hope I don’t get fired’ day

Ah, review day. I was up at 5 a.m. writing my self-assessment. Because I am really positive at this hour about my life, career and future. NOT. 😉

Turns out my apartment complex really did fuck up and give me the wrong lease-expiration date. Which, duh. And I asked about more available units on-site, and I swear things get more expensive every time I call. Last week the 2BR/2BA was going for a month free and $1,500. Now they’re telling me the 2BR/1BA is going for $1,500 plus a half-month free. So I just lost a bathroom AND a half-month concession? Shit. Why don’t they just say, “We don’t want you here anymore?” Maybe I’d stop calling! (And for $1,500, why do I not have my own washer/dryer and personal housekeeper/sex slave?!?!)

I’m exhausted, kids. The candle burned from both ends and the wick is nothing but a long cigarette ash. (Oh, yeah, for those interested, I’m doing EXTREMELY well with my New Year’s resolution to start smoking again!) I think I smoke now not just to cope with the stress, but because it was my thing with my grandfather, long before I quit. I wish I hadn’t gotten on him for the past couple of years about how bad it was — I really wanted him to live forever, but how was I to know the incompetent twats at the VA Hospital would kill him and not, say, lung cancer?

Anyway, I hope I’m awake for my review, and hopefully I can take it sort of easy otherwise today. (Ha.) And, God willing, it’s enough of a raise to pay for this apartment adventure — Jesus, it’s expensive to house two people! I need to take an old W-2 form from when I was earning peanuts and go qualify for Section-8 housing or something!

I think my mom might have met Mr. Right, which is sort of funny and ironic and nerve-wracking, all at the same time. Trust me, I ain’t begrudging her if it does happen — more power to her; she deserves it. But then I wouldn’t have to move if someone marries her! 🙂 Actually, I already gave up my unit, so I’m moving anyway, but I’d just go to a better unit and not necessarily a bigger one.

I hate uncertainty. I used to embrace it, on the theory that “anything’s got to be better than the way it is now.” But these days, I’m OK with where/who I am. Change is hard. I’m too old for this shit. 😉 Damn it, I just need some beauty sleep — the worry lines are starting to show, and you could probably lose a VW Bug in the crease I’ve acquired from furrowing my brows half the day!

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