Still just a rat in a cage
Last entry didn’t quite squeeze out all my rage. Which manifested in getting the World’s Biggest Traffic Ticket the next morning.
I totally got set up and that’s exactly what I told the cop. Fuckers paid some jagoff in a BMW to drive 10 mph down A1A. I followed this fuckhead for 5.5 miles (oh yes I clocked it) before the Mercedes in front of me passed him in a no-passing zone in a known cop trap.
I had three hours’ worth of driving ahead of me, including a mom and a cat in the car whom I had already threatened with ejection if they violated the Quiet Game. And lo, though I knew better, after the Mercedes passed the BMW, I followed.
*siren*
Fat Fuck Copper Man says to me, “Boy did YOU pick the wrong place to do that.” I said, “Well maybe if you pulled over the MERCEDES with the Jersey plate, I wouldn’t think this was a big old setup.”
(Cops in my area are known to leave alone the Lambos, the Lexii, the Bentleys and the high-priced cars/drivers. They only pull over people in jalopies. Which, DAMN IT.)
His eyes widened. Clearly he didn’t expect a smart driver. Or a smartass. Also …
*cue the tripling of the ticket price*
Like the escape to the eastern coast of the state wasn’t expensive enough without the ticket.
See, I get pulled over on holidays. I know I did something wrong and I’m willing to pay up for that. But don’t act like you weren’t out to get your quota … don’t act like you weren’t trying to find an innocent citizen who’s frazzled and just trying to make it to her destination to enjoy some food and happy times.
Most of all, don’t PRETEND that I didn’t see the BMW driver full-on stop and look over at you for a nod of approval. Seriously, it was either pass this simpleton or cause about three grand worth of damage to my front end for RAMMING YOU INTO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.
Let’s call it a holiday discount, when you look at it that way!
You know, everyone’s got a lot on their mind. Everyone’s THISCLOSE to their breaking point at every day of every year. I know others have it worse and I know others have it better. It’s just the Unfairness of it All that ate up a big chunk of my holiday.
Other than that, the vacation was fine. Especially when I found a specialty wine store and bought eight bottles.
All told, I ate too much, drank too much, spent too much and didn’t check enough off my to-do list. But I avoided Black Friday like the Black Plague and consumed vast amounts of coconut-blackberry wine slushes on the beach and deep-fried pickles and catfish.
Didn’t get an ounce of sun and mostly froze my ass off thanks to this southern cold snap.
But, you know. Two paid days off and a weekend in Fort Myers/Sanibel/Captiva/Bonita Beach/Lovers Key equals “I can tone down my road rage until year-end when I fly north to see my friend R and our Uncle B.”
Yep, all my money went to cars and travel this month. I haven’t paid rent and I hope these assholes can wait till my Thursday paycheck, because I actually spent this paycheck recovering from the past year.
Now that’s a Thanksgiving I can get behind. And for that, I am so very deeply grateful.