So I finally hit my damn 5% weight-loss goal today

Finally had a good weigh-in today. Down 3.5 pounds. And this after eating at Famous Dave’s, Golden Corral (shut up, the breakfast bar is the bomb) and my favorite Indian buffet. And after four beers last night.

What can I say? I let myself enjoy my life a little bit, and a happy Goddess equals a happy Goddess on the scale!

It was another week for the record books. I’d say the Guinness books but it was more like Magic Hat, Purple Haze, Rose Gaarden and Stella than Guinness. This week, anyway.

So, I have been feeling more like myself for the past few days. I rediscovered what it was like to spend time with a man who touches me and acts like he knows me. I got used to being at arm’s length from someone. I stopped craving the affection because I was never going to get it from a certain someone.

Nothing else to add to that. I do want to go back to the de-pudgification success, though.

This week, lifetime members shared their journeys. And the mom of a mother-and-daughter pair I never really liked very much shared her story. And … I suddenly like them. A lot.

Basically the room is full of people who have been on and off the program forever … people who had super success the first time around (like I did) who are having a slow and basically frustrating and horrible time this time around (like I am).

The a-ha moment I got was that I was so damn successful the first time because I was BORING. I ate a Fiber One bar for breakfast every day. I had a salad for lunch every day. I had a Smart Ones meal for dinner every day. I didn’t drink. I didn’t have fun. I didn’t miss a meeting and I didn’t ENJOY it at all.

This time, I didn’t realize what I’m doing till one of the blue-hairs said it. She’s doing this for LIFE now. She’s not saying, OK, I have X number of pounds to take off and I have to DO IT RIGHT THIS SECOND. It has taken her a year to take off 50 pounds and she has 10 more to go to get back to the Lifetime goal she achieved 25 years ago.

She did the same thing I did — made it a MISSION the first time around. And this time, she is basically making life as manageable and as flavorful as possible. At her own rate. In her own way. Mess-ups and all.

I never messed up the first time around. I might have said I did, to excuse a scale fail. But even this time, I would never say I messed up per se … I just have weeks where I’m “better” than others. I might simply choose to have beer for dinner or a plate of burnt ends for lunch instead of a boring salad.

But I found that shocking my system with oils and sauces and OH I DUNNO, FLAVORS helps tremendously. Variety, man. That’s what it’s all about.

Sometimes you gotta move on to move up. Or, in scale world, to move down.

As for moving on, cryptic bullshit ahead: I don’t know if I’m ever going to love or want someone as much as I did him. But that’s the thing about life. Just when you think you’ve run out of chances, you get another opportunity to reinvent yourself. And with the gift of hindsight, you realize God was just trying to help you see what you want … and what you crave … so that you don’t have to compromise and live without it next time around.


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