Momma told me never to settle.

Even at 42, “No settling, girlie.”

We watch Facebook way too closely. We see people who waited their whole lives for love … and what loves they end up finding makes us so sad.

Beautiful people we have loved for a long time, inside and out … taking the first thing that comes along.

Basically, when you are finally ready to introduce the world to your significant other, you want, “Dayum, girl!” to be the response. In a good way.

Mom even left this on my FB wall one year ago today, which is what inspired this …


But a couple of weeks ago, as I was sort of going with a random flirtation in my world that I wasn’t ever planning to tell her about …

She says to me, “It’s OK if you settle, Goddess.”

Me: “WHAT?!”

Mom: “I don’t think I can live with this pain anymore. I need to know you’re not alone. Maybe you shouldn’t hold out anymore. I need to know you’re happy.”

Me: Lots of tears. Lots and lots of tears. Same kind of ugly tears I had today when she told me she packed up our New Year’s decorations and said she changed the 2017s to 2018 “just in case.”

But to rewind from today a bit …

She’s since backpedaled on the settling.

Mostly after seeing my one beautiful friend with her dopey-ass boyfriend and even-dopier gaggle of kids. She went from single and free to fucking Brady Bunch just to say she has a man.

She’s definitely back to, “Don’t ever fucking settle because I will thwap you upside the head from the great beyond.”

I told her she just can’t leave then.

Also, I am so sick and tired of her being sick and me being tired.

God is a last-minute god. A beyond-the-last-minute god. But could we possibly get him to rouse Lazarus BEFORE he’s in the grave, please please please?!?!

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