Pork over Pennsylvania Avenue

Like all D.C. denziens, I suffer from what I call “D.C. Ennui.” But it’s sort of a misnomer, because it’s not that we’re bored with our city but, rather, that we’re so over the traffic and the tourists that we dislike going to events because of the layer of aggravation that tends to enshroud them.

Now, you know we all hate tourons, but sometimes I think the worst offenders are the ones who carry a driver’s license from the metro area. And it’s high time for me to break out of my comfort zone — sometimes I feel like I can maneuver Manhattan better than the city that gleefully accepts my taxes.

Now that I’m in the city proper, I realize that spending the weekends in the suburbs is just stupid when I’m literally two Metro stops from, oh, everything. That said, yesterday turned out to be sunny and hot (the weather had called for rain. Bah!), so we wandered down to the National Barbecue Battle.

Best. Sign. Ever.

The weird part is that I had more sun(burn) than BBQ. We wandered Pennsylvania Avenue freely, as it was closed between 9th & 14th. The city smelled of spicy sauces, burning charcoal and firewood — a welcome change from the usual just, I don’t know, combo of corruption, sewage and body odor. 🙂

There weren’t that many participants in said Battle, and nothing really appealed to me. We wandered for awhile and decided to get in what I called the “Line Ride” (obscure “South Park” reference) for the Safeway tent, as it was an hour and a half to get to the front of it. But Safeway had claimed a space the length of a city block, and there was an endless bounty of food samples, coupons and other takeaway items.

Here’s a concept: nuts in D.C. Shocker!

Mr. Peanut Lost Its Shoe While Dancing to ‘Promiscuous’

My only complaint was about the idiot family behind us. The father kept reading shit and whacking me in the back with whatever he was struggling to comprehend, and at some point he put up his umbrella and dinged me in the head a couple of times. He was a treasure compared to his kid, who kept stepping on the backs of my flip-flops and running ahead of me in line, whining about the wait and just plain acting like an obnoxious brat.

Too bad I was too stuffed from the Safeway Experience to even try any ribs, but I’m not complaining about an inexpensive day out in the sun with lots of scenery, and I ain’t talking about the monuments. 😉 Nothin’ wrong with sneaking a glance around at good-looking, half-dressed people. Nothin’ wrong with that at all. …

But at the other end of the spectrum, the thought of photographing people snarfing down food as though they were to be shipped off to Ethiopia is too gross even for me to commemorate, but I thought these were appropriate to capture, given the location:

Dubya’s Ride

Dubya’s Other Ride

And just for giggles, this is of one of the fountains in front of the National Archives:

In Which I Almost Dropped the Camera Into Said Fountain

Comments closed.