On waiting for miracles

Today I’d love to capture all the stupidity that is the VA Hospital, how they took a strong, healthy man into their “care” (sorry, gagged on the word) with a diagnosis of “altered mental state” because he was in pain (but still “all there” — bizarre) and have caused him to contract pneumonia, a UTI and MRSA (although they still say they’re not sure, but I know it because my grandmother went in for a stroke and ended up with MRSA and VRSA which are not only toxic, but they make you lose your bladder/bowel control, which guess what? Yeah, he lost that in the hospital yesterday too. GRAND). On top of it, they say he’s going to need to be permanently on oxygen (huh?) and have a permanent IV site (the hell?).

I’d take altered mental status any day. Hell, I live with it just fine! 😉

The only blessing in all of this is that the hospital they want to dump him in won’t take him with this mess. There’s one other option, and I think we should take it, to go to a supposedly better hospital in a better part of town. I’m not saying that I’m expecting miracles, but. …

No, wait a minute. I AM expecting a miracle. Everyone else (medically) seems to have given up on him. They are destroying him. They do it to everyone. But we’re not giving up on him. I don’t give up on anyone or anything until 10 minutes past the last possible minute. And we’re nowhere near it.

Mom remembers being young and my grandfather being in that same sinking ship of stupidity. He’d shared a room with a young man just back from whatever war we shouldn’t have been fighting (it’s election day — take a wild guess who I’m NOT voting for).

Anyway, the man had gangrene in his one leg and was scheduled to have it amputated. The idiots at the VA? CUT THE WRONG ONE OFF.

I also noticed signs on the bulletin board for a “zero-MRSA” environment. Good work, morons. “Zero-BRAINS” is more like it.

His beloved roommate is gone, off to get a liver transplant. Higher power willing, the 20-year-old doctors have played “Operation” enough to know where the organ’s located.

I say all of this to try to fit all of this into my head and to hope and pray that Mom and I don’t get it, because I am annoyed when I need Tampax, let alone the thought of needing a paper bag for my head to go purchase a bag o’ non-Huggies diapers. GAH.

I also say all of this to remind myself that if there is any goodness in life to be experienced, do it NOW. Don’t wait, don’t pass “go,” just enjoy the quality of life (whatever level it’s at) while you still have it. Let go of the past and let bygones be just that. Never, ever miss the opportunity to be the better person in a disagreement, and keep on going if you can never seem to win. There are better places where your energy can be used, and feeling angry and exhausted is not supposed to be part of your everyday cycle.

I’m not a religious person by any means (although you do find me asking a lot of questions of my Higher Power lately) but I have had to give up a lot of things to that entity because there’s only so much I can do here on earth. I want to spend my time as productively as possible and even invest in doing nothing at all, to regenerate and to not miss what I can easily rush past.

I’m not living my life in regret, and I’m certainly not going to live it afraid. My existence is all about the little moments, and nothing makes me happier than giving someone else a moment of joy or relief. I think that’s how my whole family has operated — I think being the hero in every situation is what fueled them.

But what I’ve learned is to reserve some strength to save your own day, and to try to find one or two people who will lend you some of their strength should yours ever run too low to keep you going.

If you can, give someone a reason to believe in miracles today. I know I’m going to try, and I hope you will, too. …

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