Oh no he di’n’t!

OMG, did you watch “American Idol” tonight? Holy shit, dude in the orange shirt/belt/socks who thought he was Ginuwine meets Usher (who was more realistically like either of those stars meets ballectomy) needed to go.

He did a terrible rendition of Michael “speaking of ballectomy” Jackson’s “She’s Out of My Life.” I mean, Kadi started howling when he was on TV!

But the funniest part of the two-hour show? When he said that he learned to sing using Randy and Paula’s DVD, “Ultimate Voice Coach.” I never saw Simon laugh so hard — he’s usually pretty damned smug, but tonight, it was so totally justified.

It was great — the kid even brought the DVD to the audition. After he was rejected, he took the DVD outside and pulverized the case with a hammer. Sweet!

Seriously, what is UP with all these tone-deaf fools going to these auditions? I know I can’t sing — shit, I am happiest when I’m driving with my earbuds in and singing on top of my the music blasting in my ears, because I? Can’t hear how bad I sound! Believe me, I KNOW I would make for an audition tape that America would laugh at for years to come, so I stay the hell home when I hear auditions are coming to the East Coast. I’m just glad, though, that others come out full-force, so I can say “at least I’m better than that.”

One Lonely Response to Oh no he di’n’t!

  1. Neil Morse :

    I’m wondering why they blurred out the cover of Randy and Paula’s DVD. That was odd.

    And my good lord moment was Rhondella or Rashella or Roundabout, the one with the boobs out to there. I wish there were a TV show just for her so I can see the exact moment when real life smacks into her at 120 mph.