More odds than ends

* People who get welfare and WIC and healthcare without having health problems or green cards. And having said people holding up the line at Wal-Mart today, befuddling the cashier while playing on their shiny new iPhone 5s with the bejeweled cases.

* Meanwhile I’m working two jobs for the price of one and hyperventilating at every goddamned turn because I CAN’T HANDLE THE PRESSURE and, oh, my mom is practically on her deathbed but can’t get healthcare because she can’t prove that she DOESN’T have a bank account. Even though she DOESN’T. Discuss.

* My new vacation shine? Worn off. Worn the fuck off. Please somebody marry me and shower me with plane tickets to anywhere but here.

* Seriously, I want my three months’ maternity leave. Do I have to have a kid? Really? Because I’m ready to get knocked up so I can get some rest already.

* I forgot how much my commute sucked. At least when I was in a moving vehicle for 45 minutes at a time up north, I was crossing state lines and heading somewhere good. I killed yet another frog on my way out yesterday. Second in as many months. How the hell do they even FIND that place?

* Going out tonight with two gals from work. I’m excited to see people from “out there” on my side of 95.

* Cracking up that I posted a pic on Facebook with the punchline: “Shut your whore mouth, S******” and a bunch of my friends liked it. Only one got the joke, but I love you all for liking it and not knowing why. (It’s Whorothy’s name! Whore and S****** are synonymous!)

* I seriously need angry drunken hate sex. Seriously. I don’t want to know their name … I definitely don’t want to know the first thing about them and their lives … and I don’t want to feel obligated to hang around and make small talk. I hate small talk. Fuck me and let me be free. Any takers?

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