Meh. Feh. And blah.

After a lot of soul-searching, I think I’ve decided to let Mom move back in with me.

I may change my mind with the next paycheck, as I’ve finally caught up with my moving-related expenses from this summer. *sigh* But since she’s up here all the time anyway, and because — let’s face it — she’s never going to get a damn job or do anything to help herself, I might as well just accept the inevitable and use her rent as my travel budget.

It kills me. I LOVE living alone. I HATE the thought of probably having to move into my smaller bedroom because it has a bathroom with a shower and she refuses to take showers. I HATE the idea of not being able to kick her out when I’ve had enough.

This is one of those times in which you’re supposed to rely on your faith … that God will do the impossible, if you do the possible. Ain’t nobody around here even bothering with the possible or even the probable, so why do I have to suffer financially in the interim?

I’m sure I’ll kick her out again. Hopefully into some full-service retirement home that costs half as much as her little beachfront studio. The problem I always had with her is that she never left the house. Ever. Which is why I never went home. It’s nice to want to come home again. I’ll miss it.

God, I appreciate the happy pills that make me not as angry as I used to be. Not to rush you on the miracle thing — because if it’s gonna be a miracle, I want it to be a good one — but now would be a great time for her to find a man with great insurance and a hefty retirement fund, so that I don’t have to give up my one shred of sanity just to put a couple of bucks into my pocket every month again. …

One Lonely Response to Meh. Feh. And blah.

  1. Lachlan :

    I always find myself catastrophically and intensely split on how to advise you with this situation.

    Your mom is so polar opposite of mine, but I really wonder if you shouldn’t be looking into elder care/DSHS type services NOW. Have you reached out to your church?

    I guess what I’m saying is before you possibly screw the pooch hardcore with breaking the lease, ask yourself if you have truly researched the help options out there? If the answer is no, it may be time to reset the boundaries a bit and try to find an outside source to help.