Killing me softly with co-pays

Alternate title: I groomed my hoo-ha for this?

Had the second in what is now a neverending series of doctor’s appointments this morning. Oh, the joy and rapture at shelling out cash every couple of weeks because I STILL haven’t gotten any real work done. From appointments with nurse practitioners (last time) to even more tests (this time) to exploratory stuff (next time), I’m ready to explode.

We anticipate that there’s surgery at the end of this road. At least, that’s what I’m expecting because I really don’t see dancing the horah or building an altar of crystals being a viable alternative. And I’m OK with that. I’m not kidding — I’m not nervous. Just the opposite — I’m relieved that something, somewhere has GOT to fix me.

I just hate it that the wait between appointments is so long. I mean, I get there and it’s like yep, my cycle started. Which probably wasn’t a big deal, but still. Anything that keeps me from getting all patched up will earn my unbridled ire at this point.

The only funny moment was when they asked about any recent sexual activity, which made me laugh because, well, why wouldn’t it? So I said to this straight-laced, old-fashioned doctor who screams for his assistant, “I only have sex with people I think I love, or know I hate. And lately? I haven’t felt one way or another about anyone I’ve dated, so I haven’t bothered.”

Yeah, he wasn’t as amused with me as I am, apparently.

The next appointment comes during my “vacation” week later this month. Which wasn’t going to be much of a vacation anyway, so I said OK. Besides, I rarely pass up an opportunity to drop my pants for perfect strangers. 😉

This is why I don’t get overly worked-up or nervous over doctor’s visits — you never see a “real” doctor anyway, and it’s not like you get any news you can work with until two appointments from now.

I just want to be healed and whole again. That’s all. All this other shit is just that — shit.

Not only was the day a waste of makeup and it’s not even 10 a.m., but it was also a waste of scandalous underwear and a shave.

One Lonely Response to Killing me softly with co-pays

  1. Mel :

    I went to urgent care last night for one thing and turns out the doctor was on crack and now I have an appointment with my regular doctor. In the mean time I have an appointment with my chiro and now i have something wrong with my nec k even though I was going in for my back. I wonder if I am gonna have something else wrong by the time I make it to my regular doctor for my other thing.