Caterwauling

So Mom just called to give me the scoop on my grandfather (the usual abysmal stuff) but of course made an ass out of herself, which I always enjoy.

My grandfather has never gone a day in his life without shaving, but with the onset of hospital-induced ineptitude, he hasn’t shaved in almost two weeks. So she did it. And she had no idea what she was doing, leaving a goatee because she didn’t know how to shave his chin.

So the social worker mentions to her on the phone that my grandfather looks like someone shaved him — was it her?

And Mom, in her infinite blondness, said, “Yeah — I’ve never shaved a man before and I missed some.

“I know you’re supposed to go down on them. …”

She hears him whimper quietly. But she missed the cue.

” … and come up around the chin and I got tired and I wasn’t really sure what I was doing. …”

At which point he stopped her because he couldn’t take it any more.

“Go down on them.” Heh. That’s my mom!

This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 1st, 2006 at 4:03 PM and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.