‘I’m living for the night we steal away; I need you at the dimming of the day’

Dimming of the day

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

For all intents and purposes, today was a perfect day.

Woke up early, still sludging through the mad deja vu but not being impeded by it. I meant to go to a Weight Watcher’s meeting at 8 a.m. but I really wasn’t ready till a half-hour after that. And I had plenty of time before the next meeting at 10 a.m. So, I went to an awesome indoor farmer’s market to buy supplies for the week and kill some time.

(I’d love to start linking to my new haunts, as it would help on the Google front. But alas, I am cozy in my illusion that my actual location is still not yet public information. So humor me, k?)

I did hit the 10 a.m. meeting and it was awful. I brought the median age down by 30 years. There were about 35 women there who would not stop talking. The leader was pretty good, although she started at 10:10 and that’s unforgivable because you’re supposed to be there at 9:30 to weigh in so that the meeting starts promptly. Ugh.

A lady overheard my weight loss total (58-ish pounds) and announced to her friends how well I was doing. I got lots of congrats from the group. That was nice. I ain’t mad at that.

But I think I’m going to try to hit a different meeting each week, depending on the day. Although, I did end up having my ear bent till it was broken by the girl next to me. She was the only other young’un there and said she usually goes to the Wednesday night meetings. Which I will be sure to avoid. 🙂 I was trying to run for the hills without exchanging contact info, and I succeeded. I’m not looking forward to putting myself in jeopardy there.

I ended up going to another farmer’s market that actually had a big ol’ strawberry patch that you could go through. And then I went to ANOTHER market.

I tried going to the beach, but all spots were full. I know, waah, right? But I had to meet Comcast at home anyway. Which worked out because the guy came earlier than scheduled. So, whee and score one for Comcast! (Actually, score one for Goddess for not being completely bamboozled by that goddamned monopoly for a change.)

I also got a car wash. Whee. For the $30 that it cost, I at least expected someone to lick me where I pee. But oh well. Maybe next time. 😉

I tried the beach one more time and still couldn’t park. And then, duh, it hit me to PARK AT WORK. And walk the few blocks. Lord, how easy was that? And why hadn’t I thought of it sooner? The glory of working in any downtown in any city is that you are guaranteed parking for events. I was smart enough to park there for one of the farmer’s markets; why the hell didn’t I just leave the jalopy there in the first fucking place?

One of my buds, Vitamin D, is in town. I swear I felt the air change upon her arrival. The morning was hot, sticky and cloudy, and the sun came out after she got on the ground. (Dear AccuWeather, you’re welcome.)

We have plans to meet tomorrow, and I’m beyond excited. This woman straight-up took care of me for the past four-odd years. She’s helped me to go from a meek, wounded little church mouse to confident, ass-kicking goddess. And to have her on my turf, so soon after my lightning-fast departure from D.C., is Teh Awesum.

I also did some other shopping today. Nothing extraordinary; just looking for a cute bistro set for the screened-in balcony. Still looking for the right one, although I found a halfway decent one at Albertson’s — right size and price, even if the colors aren’t there. I may just go for it to at least have somewhere to sit and eat a meal around here. Not that I cook anymore. But y’know, for when I do.

I had dinner at my new favorite Jewish deli/restaurant. Mmmm, turkey pastrami, latke and a vanilla egg cream. The egg cream wasn’t as good as Junior’s in Manhattan, but then again, nothing is. But I was still pretty happy nonetheless.

So tomorrow brings church and lunch and friends and beach. (God, I love it here.) One perfect day to follow another.

Of course, all perfection is typically ruined by an Extended Houseguest. So today when I got home, she was up my butt about “Well, I didn’t drive all this way to Florida not to go to the beach.”

As if it’s my fault, of course, for not taking her.

So she asks if I will take her to the beach tomorrow. I said I have plans, and her reaction was, “You have friends here?” I just said yes. No sense in engaging.

So she was pissy and asked when I’m going to take her to the beach. Hello broken record; we’ve lived here 10 days and I’ve heard that question twice that many times. And I’ve answered it the same way each time: You drove over 1,000 miles to get here — you can drive the extra three to get to the fucking coastline.

I forget what she said to basically say she can’t do it AGAIN. I don’t listen anymore. I can’t. I am seriously afraid of what I am capable of, and not in a good way, when the Charlie Brown’s teacher “waah poor piteous me” shit starts.

Oh, I vaguely remember. She said she needs company. And I used the opportunity as a teachable moment, to remind her that I HATE company and I enjoy doing things by myself and my idea of hell is being trapped with someone, doing something I would have loved to do on my own.

I don’t think I articulated that I don’t mind doing things with people I LIKE. But Jesus, if she’d told me she resented me as many times as I’ve told her how much I resent HER, I wouldn’t be up her ass and just begging for babysitting services. Lawd almighty.

I really think she’s hanging in there till I shit out a kid or something so that she can find her purpose in life as a nanny. Well, I can’t meet any good men while having my mommy in my house, and I certainly can’t fuck them here without her probably coming in and asking why I’m screaming.

I think the kid ship has sailed at this juncture anyway, and I think I’m OK with that because I’ve got a million other things to do that don’t involve projectile vomiting. Besides, if I would ever do to my progeny what that woman is doing to me? That would drive me to walk into the undertow and not even fight it. Why ruin another life in this family, right?

Sigh. Anyway, my friend Vitamin D said I sound and seem exponentially happier than when I was in D.C. just two short weeks ago. Other than the “wanting to cut off my ponytail and hang myself with it” home life, she’s absolutely right. I used to work late to not have to go home; now I go to the beach instead. (Alone!)

And not only is my skin, outlook and health improving hand-over-fist because of it, but I think I’ve rediscovered that part of my brain where I used to generate ideas and dreams. Don’t quote me on that, but if the sound in my head is of cogs turning and not teeth grinding, I’ll know for sure that I’m happy. Since I have never experienced that emotion before, it’s gonna take some research to prove that’s what I feel.

But my gut says it’s so. And for now, that’s enough. And so much more. …

Comments closed.