‘I didn’t know I was lost’

Had a bittersweet moment yesterday, and a revelation from it.

One of my favorite people got a job at one of my favorite companies. I think it will be a great match.

Both sets of people saved me by introducing me to each other at the lowest point in my life. So, that they are reunited, it really does feel so good.

But I was kind of … I’m not sure what the emotion is … because I should have been qualified for that job. Instead, I have so many tasks (non-resume-builders) that take a ton of time that won’t translate to other companies.

Not that I’m looking to leave but as an erratic fool at a prior job taught me, stellar employees still get thrown out on the street when we have lovers to pay off with company money.

In a way I figured I’d end up at that company. But not doing the same job I’ve done for the last 10 years. It would have to be something more.

I’ve done the Groundhog Day thing too many times, thanks. Wake me up when it’s all over. When I’m wiser and I’m older. That sort of thing.

So maybe what I need to take away from this is that I have probably moved on from that company for good. And that if I intend to be anything resembling happy, I need to find a way to acquire the skills that role requires (and lose a few that I’ve unwittingly mastered — perhaps just stop doing them?). And if I can put them to work where I am, all the better.

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