50 Shades of Genius

The Atlantic points out how the stripped-down version of Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” for the “50 Shades of Grey” trailer is the best part of the tattered mess that is the book/film.

“(Beyonce’s) presence suggests that a 50 Shade fantasy for women is not just to be with Christian, but to be him.”

I admit I bought all three audiobooks and barely got a third of the way through the first one. (The things you do while stuck on 95 in a thunderstorm …)

At first I thought I might like it because, let’s face it, women who are in control in every area of their lives could stand having a man in charge for a change. Because even those in charge really aren’t. It’s the illusion you feed them to stoke their widdle egos so they can swing their widdle dicks around with some misplaced sense of pride.

In any event, if I heard Anna Steele mutter “Oh my!” one more time, I was going to hurl my 5S out the window whilst driving that hideous highway.

I imagine the movie cannot possibly be worse than the book. But in this case, I think if I’m going to spend any more money on this awful franchise, it will be for the soundtrack. And if I want to see weak men with a God complex fueled by strong women who have to act simple so as not to overshadow them, well, I don’t have to pay fourteen bucks to experience that.

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