Having pets and liking them are different things

I already hate PETA anyway, and my own cats make it very realistic for me to support cruelty to animals. Or, lest I get the hate mail that I am absolutely uninterested in, let’s just say that animals are meant to be eaten, and I know a nice Vietnamese restaurant where I’m taking my pets for dinner. (Or, for someone ELSE’S dinner!)

Last night, Maddie took a wet shit on the living room floor after I’d gotten done cleaning the place. So I scooped that up and took it through the rain to the trash.

And then you’d think her bowels were empty. But oh NO, she had more left in her. I awakened this morning not to the scent of coffee or even freshness, but more fucking SHIT. And sure enough, in approximately the same spot, was another whopping pile of poo. Piles, actually — she got it everywhere.

It’s very hard to start off the day on the right foot when your cat shat on the rug and wiped her butt on the wall.

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