Hail Mary, full of rage

I’ve been trying to stay positive. But it’s been a shit festival this week (month). The more I disappoint people, the more I disappoint them. You know?

Like the Law of Attraction just gives you a ride-all-day Shit Festival pass. And I see no way out of the outhouse unless they throw me out. I don’t even know if I’d fight it at this point. Getting out or staying out if I ever do get a whiff of rosier days.

I read something today that said you will be happier if you plan a vacation even if you will never have the time, money or other resources to take it. How does that work, exactly?

No, you don’t have something to look forward to (cough cough canceled Key West trip for mom’s birthday cough) eventually. You have a big fat fucking reminder in the form of your wussy little Pinterest board that nice things aren’t meant for you.

Of course, I type all of this to say I said something smart this week. No, not the “Wow, what you earn during 8 hours dictates how you enjoy the other 16 in a day.” Although it is true, even if it affects what you eat for lunch during those eight-ish hours.

But after the latest tragedy to hit Disney, a 2-year-old boy’s death at the Grand Floridian, an old friend said she’d delete anyone who wrote anything stupid about the parenting skills. And my response was, I wondered why they were out at 9 p.m. Then I remembered, awesome fireworks during the 9 p.m. hour. Then I heard a gator snatched the kid. And then I thought, how sad. And then I stopped thinking.

The smart thing I wrote? “If you don’t think stupid things, you don’t say/write them.”

Well, then I would have saved thousands of dollars in hosting costs for this blog, had that occurred to me 15 years ago.

I notice everyone is on edge lately. I mean everyone. Maybe it’s summer but we’re all swelled up and the elastic on the crankypants is about to explode. And we’re all taking it out on each other. And it’s righteously pissing me off.

Thus I (we) continue to attract strife.

And the cycle goes on. And on. And into next week and no doubt into that vacation that once was but that I won’t let exist in my head because I’ve had enough pain this week, thanks.

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