The current apartment complex continues to suck more than a toothless hooker who hasn’t eaten in a week. *sigh*

The latest abomination? They’re doing their inspection of my place three days before I move. Jesus Christ, people. I’m paying for an extra month so I can move between two places at my leisure and then I’ll have time to repair all the fucking damage I’ve the cats have done to this place once all the shit is gone from it.

Yeah, it of course will occur while I’m at work. Good luck with that. Tonight I walked into a pile of crap on the floor somewhere in the neighborhood of the litterbox, and after I cleaned it up, I went to the human bathroom where I promptly stepped in a huge pile of cat vomit.

The fucked-up part?

The purpose of this walk-through is to figure out all the havoc you have wreaked on this hellhole get the apartment ready for its new residents.

Remember, I am being EVICTED so they can DEMOLISH the unit for a top-down renovation into a LUXURY UNIT. The problem? They keep moving “incoming residents” into the units we’ve been exiled from. Anything to eke out that last droplet of rent for a month or two until they get their stupid asses around to doing the reconstruction.

Here’s an idea — don’t evict folks until you actually plan to renovate the building. Fools. They still haven’t gotten halfway through renovating the FIRST BUILDING of 10 that has been emptied completely to date! Gah.

Look, I am normally a fairly clean person, but I’ve let the place go to shit because it just doesn’t matter anymore. So it squicks me out to know that these people will be determining whether my security deposit will be returned in whole, in part or not at all.

Here’s a precious one. We can’t throw bulk items (i.e., furniture) in the nearest dumpsters. We have to haul it around the complex to the dumpsters out in Egypt that are bigger AFTER asking the leasing office to unlock that special, sacred dumping ground. Not like anyone here pays that any mind — it’s like a flea market outside my building, where everyone leaves their shit and the garbage men refuse to take it. And seriously? All of that shit is fug. Does anyone have any taste around here?!?!

See, I’m smarter than that — I throw everything off the balcony, where it breaks into a few pieces, all of which will slide very happily into the dumpsters’ openings. Why can’t everyone be this fucking smart? 😉

Actually, I ain’t that smart. I ran errands tonight and dropped by CVS for a few things. I left the sunroof open as it was warm and dry (although I did drive through a monsoon on the Beltway when I left work). Anyway, guess whose dumb ass came out to “monsoon: the revenge”? Oh well, I guess I won’t have to clean the inside of the car for awhile. … 🙂

3 Responses to Fools

  1. Amy :

    Monsoon the revenge? Hmm, she visited here the other day as well…AS I WAS WALKING INTO A FUCKING RESTAURANT IN MY NEW SUIT. Bitch.

  2. Caterwauling :

    […] Caterwauling « Fools […]

  3. Sabre :

    I am so feeling your pain. During the last move, I pretty much gave up the cleaning at the end, because how the fuck can you run a vacuum when you have mountains of boxes everywhere? They kept parading potential new renters through the place while I sat there, wrapping and stuffing more shit in boxes. And the people looking around, with their faces of disgust because the place was so dirty. I just felt like screaming “EAT ME, I’M PACKING FOR FIVE!” but I, being of sound mind (sometimes), held my tongue and merely kept on about my business. I’m considered by most to be a neat-freak with an amazingly spotless home for the amount of kids and critters. Having other people judge me based upon my moving mess just whizzes in my cheerios.