Feeling ways about things
“Prince of Tides” time. I don’t even have to look up the quote to nail the closing monologue word for word …
We spent our last hours together at the Rainbow Room, dancing a slow dance, just like in my dream.
I held her in my arms, as I told her that it was her doing that I could go back. Six weeks before I was ready to leave my wife, my kids.
I wanted out of everything, but she changed that. She changed me.
For the first time I felt like I had something to give back to the women in my life. They deserved that. So I returned to my southern home and my southern life, and it is in the presence of my woman and children that I acknowledge my life, my destiny.
I am a teacher, a coach, and a well-loved man. And it is more than enough.
In New York, I learned that I needed to love my mother and father in all their flawed, outrageous humanity. And in families there are no crimes beyond forgiveness.
But it is the mystery of life that sustains me now. And I look to the North and I wish again that there were two lives apportioned to every man and every woman.
At the end of every day I drive through the city of Charleston, and as I cross the bridge that will take me home I feel the words building inside me.
I can’t stop them or tell you why I say them, but as I reach the top of the bridge, these words come to me in a whisper.
I say them as prayer, as regret, as praise.
I say, “Lowenstein… Lowenstein…”