I am now actively trying to find a way to offload the UEOEH. (E-I-E-I-O?). When I thought I could bribe my cousin into taking her for a while (or forever), my heart lifted. I could feel it. There was noticeably the absence of a rock from the pit of my stomach.

Of course, the cousin refused and I sent her the biggest bouquet of autumn flowers known to man yesterday. 🙂 Just in case she realized that I am a wonderful person who needs a break already.

I am now thinking of one of the UEOEH’s friends in Pittsburgh. Her daughter works in D.C. now. I know they have a bedroom or two to spare. I wonder if I shouldn’t have sent HER the obnoxious floral display instead. …

Right now I’m struggling with whether I’m taking the natural next step in my career, or simply becoming something I’m not. I feel like I’m leaving 85% of what makes me, well, me at the door while heeding the suggestion, “You should learn from the OTHER publisher.” Who is half my age and has been with the firm for half a decade and doesn’t have my experience in other things.

But anyway, I realize now why, when I was a grantwriter, it was so important to ask for money for respite services for caregivers. (I worked for a foster care agency, where we mainly serviced aunts and grandmothers who inherited kids while their mothers were in jail or otherwise deemed unfit to rear their kids.) That night off … or weekend or week … is more precious than any Apple product ever manufactured. (Yes, I said it!)

If I could offload the UEOEH for the holidays … wow. How happy I would be. And if it could turn permanent, well, all the better!

I finally have something to pray for, other than, “God, get me out of this mess.”

Once that’s solved, I can perhaps start in on cleaning up my OWN life. What an original idea.

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