Drunken confessions 

Do you ever see a friend gushing over his betrothed online and want to say omg you are so getting played and I can look at that person with my third eye and know what a gold-digger they are and to run not walk away before you can’t?!?!

I take no responsibility for this post after tonight. But man, I think you picked wrong. I can see in their eyes that they are going to fuck you over. 

And they aren’t as cute as you think, either. Sorry. There, I said it. 

I know they won’t see this. And I’m not trying to shit-stir. I just can’t bear to see another person think they found their happiness when even Stevie Wonder can see through the desperation of people who don’t want to be alone anymore. 

I only hope that if I decide to settle, my real friends will stand up and say something. Or maybe they will be like me right now and understand the need to “couple” at a time when it seems like the one thing otherwise-smart people just can’t seem to master. 

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