Did I forget to ‘Idol’ blog?

I do believe I did. Let’s remedy that before tonight’s results show, shall we?

It was the Stevie Wonder theme night. Now if you remember from episodes and even seasons past, he’s HARD to sing. And some people who did really well with his songs (like Sway, who got the boot two weeks ago) were still pooh-poohed by the judges.

Anyway, I took notes on all the performers with the full intention of voting, but enh. The spirit didn’t move me.

Off with their heads! On with my comments:

Ace opened the show on an OK note. He sang “Do I Do.” Ace is a less-creepy Constantine, and I liked me some Constantine — brooding pouts and all. But the song didn’t showcase Ace’s impressive range AT ALL. Simon called his performance “manic.” White boys can’t dance, so I have to agree.

Kellie. Sweet, sweet Kellie — all grown up and wearing fake eyelashes and a basic black gown. I didn’t hate it. She gave “Blame it on the Sun” a country vibe. There was a moment before the final chorus in which she looked REALLY disappointed in herself. Randy called it a “non-event.” Sorry honey, Dawg’s right.

Elliott — He was SOBBING when he met Stevie, who called young Elliot “believable” in his performance. I actually agree. Despite myself, I am growing to like him. Paula looked kraked out — I think his “Knocks Me Off My Feet” knocked her out of a drug-induced stupor.

Mandisa. (*pause*) Lord forgive me for blasphemy but she didn’t wow me with “Don’t You Worry ‘Bout a Thing.” Ryan took off her shoes and threw one at Simon. He rather enjoyed that moment, you could tell. And those WERE cute shoes. If they’re an 8 1/2, throw them to me here in D.C., would’ja? Anyway, her performance started just before 8:40 p.m. — at 8:42, I figured we should just put the show out of its misery for the evening.

Bucky. “Superstition.” Rocked. Period. Seriously, Gedeon would have rocked this night much better, but Bucky did his thing. Although he did look like the newest Miss Clairol model with shiny, bouncy, golden curls. I forgave him as he twirled that microphone like a pro when he finished the song. Simon told him he has Jessica Simpson hair. HAH!

Melissa. God, she’s back. Honestly, though? Her voice is very pretty. I like that throaty, Melissa Etheridge type of tone. She fucked up the lyrics to “Lately” in practice and did it again on stage. Simon said it’s her best so far. I agree on the caveat that this isn’t saying much. In all irony, Paula slurred as she told her that she knew she messed up her lyrics. Heh.

Lisa. “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” she’s just cute as a bug in a rug. But not on drugs (like Paula). Ba DUM bum. She’s cute, perky, fun, enjoyable to watch. The music seemed to drown her out, but it kind of dwarfed everyone, for that matter. Simon loved her. And my friends and I have noticed for five years that he takes a shine to the sisters.

At this point, I realized that everyone has friends and/or family in the audience. Does the show pay to fly them in/put them up? Because I can’t get my family to even pay me a one-time VISIT and I’ve lived in D.C. for four fucking years now. Anyway, it’s nice that the kids have that kind of support. Although I haven’t seen anyone for Mandisa, and I identify with her even more for that.

Kevin. “Part-Time Lover.” Enough about your non-dominant hand, kid. 😉 Were those orthopedic shoes? I mean, who wears white tennis shoes outside of the gym? His dance moves are so robotic — it ain’t Styx night (“Mr. Roboto,” for you young’ns). Paula finally woke up. Randy and Paula loved him. Simon hated it. Kevin said he wasn’t expecting much from Simon, anyway. Oooh, burn!

Katharine. What a fucking ugly-ass dress she wore! It’s maternity/granny-like. She’s lucky she did justice to “Until You Come Back to Me.” I’ve pretty much forgotten everything else about her since then.

Taylor. He’s the dark-horse candidate to win this thing. I was squealing happily to see him wearing a “got soul?” T-shirt when he was hanging with Stevie. He did “Living for the City.” I LOVE that song and I LOVED him. That, and he was hot as HELL in his pinstripe suit. I have a weakness for men in pinstripes.

Paris. She was really cute — totally blown away by Stevie. Most kids her age probably have NO clue who he is and what he’s meant to the music industry. Stevie says she reminds him of Fantasia. I have to be catty for a second to say that Stevie didn’t have the misfortune of seeing what a MESS Fantasia is (god, the blue high-top sneakers, the low-rider jeans and the BIRTH CONTROL PATCH sparkling under the SPOTLIGHT turned me against her for good). Paris — it’s NOT A COMPLIMENT!!! Anyway, Paris is adorable — great outfit, love the curls. She was on fire. You know what? She reminds me more of Jennifer Hudson (from the same season as Ghetto Fabulous).

I would have said Paris’ “All I Do” was the be-all-and-end-all performance of the night, but then I saw Chris.

*swoon* Hello, lover!

Chris did “Higher Ground” — a la the Red Hot Chili Peppers. And he cured what the judges had been moaning about all night, that nobody made the song their own. He sure did. He OWNED that song, the stage, the crown for Best Performance of the Night and then some. I so very seriously wanted to be that microphone stand that he was using for emphasis with the passion he infused into that song.

My call for eliminations? It’s got to be an upset. Kellie was weak. I am still thinking Melissa’s time is up soon. And Kevin had better pray to the prepubescent teen girls who got him this far in the first place.

I do have to say, though, everyone’s getting better and better. Great showmanship, good style, some workable dance moves, more voice control. The show is a real competition now.

12 minutes (and an hour) till the results show! *squee*

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