To deal, or not to deal

Sherri asked:

What are/were your relationship dealbreakers?

It’s a case-by-case basis. For some, it’s the fact that they’re still living and breathing.

I mean, I get frustrated because one bolts for the exits at the first sign of turbulence and I get mad at another because I’m trying to hit them on the ass with the door and they’re too dumb to start walking. I want to wallop one with no sense of humor and yet strangle one who can’t take anything seriously.

The obvious dealbreakers, of course, include a wife/live-in/steady. Kids usually put me off, especially those who might live there part- or full-time. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not that I (completely) hate other people’s offspring.

But the not-so-obvious dealbreaker, and one that’s only a recent addition, is a lack of chivalry.

I am happy to talk about all my failed semblances of relationships here. But what I keep to myself are the little moments that normal people would let slide by — the things that others forget or don’t even notice, yet I will cherish for a million years because I was somehow special enough to be worthy of them.

By default, I open my own doors, I expect to not have my dinner paid for and I certainly am not going to sit around thirsty, waiting for someone to buy me a drink. (I have reasons for that, too.) However, I recently had someone forcibly rip me out of that lack of expectations. And talk about a change for the better!

It’s all well and good to go by the username Goddess, but to actually accept feeling like royalty once in awhile shouldn’t be such a foreign concept. You’ll get crapped on at work or feel invisible as a patron at a store or business, but never ever NEVER in your personal life is it necessary to feel overlooked and underloved if there’s someone around perfectly capable of worshiping you.

So yeah, I’m watching you, O He Who Arrives Next. The bar’s been raised (and I’m having a glass of white wine at it!). I struggle within all of my life’s roles, so the one you can help me to enjoy — i.e., being a lady — is the interview that might just land you a recurring role and, potentially, could score you the job itself.

2 Responses to To deal, or not to deal

  1. Evil Genious :

    Atta girl!

  2. Sabre :

    The hardest thing I’ve been struggling with this here new boyfriend thing is all the little things that he does that can be considered chivalrous. I’m so used to doing everything myself. It’s just weird to have the doors always opened for me. He actually gets sort of pouty if I open my own car door. It’s really kind of cute. So, at the sage advice of my therapist (shut up peanut gallery! we all need one!) I stopped resisting and started letting him do all those little things that seem to mean so much.

    Oddly, I’m getting used to it. So sure, treat me like the Goddess that I am. I can dig it. Just don’t take it away from me later, I might have to smite you.